Adult Swim

I am considering going to the pool tomorrow after my workout but I'm conflicted.  It has been a long week and I would very much like some nice, quiet, relaxing time poolside but that NEVER happens at our pool.  We live smack dab in the middle of suburbia and our pool is like kid frickin' central.  Sometimes it's really awful.  Take the swim classes, for instance.  OH the swim classes.  I fully support children learning to swim but why does it have to be EVERY day from 10 am to 2 pm, 6 to 8 PM, AND on the weekends?  And of course these are not your standard swim classes. No no, these instructors are truly devoted and extremely loud 13 year olds.  Go "row row" your own damn boat!  I want to read my trashy magazine without hearing you tell another 4 year old to arch his back or blow bubbles.  Bleh!

I think I am just annoyed because it feels like the pool was built for children and the parents feel entitled to let them run free but dammit, we pay for our place here too and all we get is 15 minutes every hour of kid-free swim time.  Last week, during "break time" I was hit by a frisbee twice and my book was ruined by some noodle mishap.  It really makes me understand things like the No Kids Allowed Movement.  I mean, to be honest, I would definitely pick the flight/hotel/restaurant that banned kids over the alternative.  Sorry moms and dads but it's my vacation/business trip/meal too and sometimes...just every once in a while...I'd like it to be effing QUIET!  CALM PEACEFUL!  DAMMIT...why am I yelling?!?!

"I want to lock it all up in my pocket.  It's my bar of chocolate.  Give it to me now!"

This got me thinking about the whole kid free life we've picked for ourselves.  I amazed at how many people still respond to our ambitions to NOT have children with "That's what I said when I was your age," or "You'll change your mind.  I did."  My husband is pretty upfront about our choice and by upfront, I mean blunt.  He pretty much puts it out there that he thinks people who have kids are downright crazy.  That's an exaggeration but he clearly thinks we've made the "better" decision and I agree.  At least, I think we've made the best decision for ourselves.  I also am extremely tolerant and supportive of all of our friends who've had children.  It's wonderful to see people having children that WANT to have children. 

Zach and I were lucky to have found each other.  We agree on the big things: money, sex, religion, and children.  Some aren't so lucky.  Like this guy who created a dating website to help people find other people who don't want children.  Apparently this is a real issue for single folks.  How sad.

I just finished a book all about a couple who had gotten married after making an agreement to not have children and then the husband changed his mind and decided he needed to procreate!  GASP!  The horror!!  

I do have noise blocking headphones which are a nice alternative when quiet just is not an option but sometimes it just irks me that it's necessary for me to lug my $200 headphones to the pool just to get some peace and quiet.    There are three pools in this area that homeowners can go to.  Can't we make just ONE of them kid free? Sometimes I feel bad that I get so irritable about the whole situation but then I run across sites like this: http://www.leavethembehind.com/ and I know I'm not alone.

This is Walden Pond, a "peaceful" pond beloved by Thoreau.  It looks EXACTLY like our pool on the weekends!

So to all my family and friends with children, I'm sorry if I've offended.  I love all of you and your kids...I just don't want them at my pool tomorrow unless they're 10 or over.  Having said that, if they're 10 or over, I'd still prefer it if they didn't talk.  ;-) 

And one more thing, if you can bring your kids to the pool, why can't I bring my dog?  She's certainly more well behaved than some of those rugrats and she sits on command.  I'm just sayin'.