(REPOST) Christmas (board games) in July - 'A Christmas Story' tragedy

I have been looking forward to writing this post for some time.  My mother-in-law, Shirley (bless her thoughtful heart) bought me the board game "A Christmas Story" last year for Christmas.  Now, like a lot of people, I LOVE this movie and was thrilled to have the board game.  All I really needed were some victims to play with me.  After 7 months I was finally able to coerce my mother and husband into playing.

After a long day of packing, we decided to settle in with some beers and some family fun time.  It started out innocently enough although my husband (who is NOT a fan of the movie) was clearly playing under duress.  That's ok though.  I had my mom and some sweet tea vodka to boost my confidence...oh, and a wiener dog.   The board was cute, with pictures of Ralphie's house, the schoolyard, etc and the playing cards were shaped like Christmas ornaments (very clever). 

If we would have just walked away at this point, all would have been well.

 Here's the deal, the instructions made NO sense!  When I say no sense, they literally were indecipherable.  From the very start, I was confused.  I say "I" because although Mom and Zach had agreed to play, they did NOT agree to read the instructions.  In other words, I was determined to figure this out.  I really wanted this to be fun for them so I focused intently on reading the directions.  I focused but I felt my eyes going crossways.  The game said to start from "home" but there was no "home" marked on the board.  It only got worse from there....really really really really a WHOLE lot worse.

You can't see it all but it says "Ralphie's House" there.  We can only assume that's what the game creators meant when they said "home".

I stole the following from one of MANY Amazon user reviews:  "Here is an actual quote from the directions:  To move down the sidewalk, players discard one card and move as many spaces as the number on the card. However, cards printed with a '1' will move a player '2' spaces if played in this manner. If a player does not wish to discard a card to move on the sidewalk, they may move one space only.   ....WHAT?!?!"

A rare moment where all of the leg lamps were standing up right.  It took me 5 tries to get this picture because those damn things were flopping all over the place.

An elusive Ralphie card.  We still have no idea what the numbers mean....

Uncontrollable giggles start as I give up on the real directions and attempt to make my own just to keep Mom and Zach from walking out on me.  Zach is enjoying the lunacy of it all but I could tell my time is running out...

Not helping!!

We laughed, we cried, we ended up smoking cigars on the front porch while Mom and Zach read me the trivia questions.

Still, all in all, it was worth it for the laughs.  I won't be playing this again but I will hold onto the box and maybe make some Christmas decorations out of the contents.

To be honest, I had almost as much fun reading the reviews on Amazon the next day as I did "playing" the game the night before.  Here's a snippit from one of my favorites:
(But really, you should do yourself a favor and check out all of the reviews...they're hilarious! You can find them all here)

"A Christmas Story game is the Hindenburg of board games.  Oh the humanity! My girlfriend and I spent an hour trying to understand the directions and laughing at the typos. The game makes no sense. The leg lamp pieces tip over way too easily (like if you breathe on them or look at them).
And the questions themselves--they were so hard they could have been in Latin for all we cared.
After slogging through the first two pages of incomprehensible directions, I actually thought the game was a joke, like an April Fools Day prank. It was not. Luckily, we purchased the game for $1 at a garage sale. We overpaid. Next time, I hope "A Christmas Story" board game manufacturers think twice before nearly ruining our favorite holiday movie"

Cassie does Dallas...and Vegas

After three long months in Iraq, hubs and I decided to spend our first R&R visiting family with a sprinkle of Vegas for good measure.  Though I initially planned to lug Cassie along throughout, I decided she would probably be better off not stuffed under the seat in front of me for 5 flights.  If the logistics had just been a little better (read: had Vegas not been the stopover in the middle), it would have been great to have her along but it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.  Sadly, that meant a teary goodbye in Richmond before we headed off to Vegas.  Thankfully, my mother in law had given us some great pics of Cassie and one, in particular, that was just perfect for travel.  It's an embarrassing little photo of Cassie looking completely humiliated in some kind of bow contraption.  In an effort to make myself feel better, I "pretended" Cassie traveled with us to Vegas with onward travel to Texas.  What follows is a brief catalog of her adventures:

Cassie renting a car

Cassie checking into the hotel

Cassie cat-napping before a night on the town

Lush

Cassie ain't scared of no big cats!

Cassie admiring art by her ancestors

Cassie kicking it old school on Fremont street

Cassie killing a hangover with a bloody mary

Cassie likes the oldies but goodies

Cassie and her mom at the Peppermill

Cassie supports the performing arts.....

Cassie getting wined and dined at SW Steakhouse

Cassie at the best Mexican restaurant in Denton

What? Didn't you know wiener dogs like tea???

You paid for that?!?!

There are lots of tattoos in Baghdad....LOTS!  There's more ink in this place than an Office Depot.  It got me thinking about bad tattoos.  Good tattoos are well, just good.  But bad tattoos??? They're historic.  So, being the good little sharer I am, here are a few of my favorite HORRIBLE TATTOOS!

Simple Pleasures....new places

My new coaster :)

 Just a few little things that have made me smile lately....

Goodies from Mom!  FUN!  She knows me too well - Halloween decorations, colorful bathroom stuff, and games!!!!!

I actually bought this at our version of "walgreens" - wahoo!  XBOX in the desert!

Now this was truly like Christmas!!!  My jeans were inside wootwoot!! 

Including a bunch of other clothes and goodies.  Even in the desert, a girl has got to kick it with some degree of style.

Lots of goodies and lots of hidden pictures of Cassie hidden throughout. :)

tee hee - she looks deep in thought in this one.

Honey....I'm home!

Ok, I'm not home at all but after a few Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey drinks last night, I sure felt like I was flyin' somewhere!  Though the effects are a  bit painful today, this stuff went down as smooth as....well...honey.  A group of us easily polished off a bottle within a couple of hours.  Give it a try.  It's not too sweet.  There's a hint of pepper to counter the sweetness and the mix of the two is just purrrrfect.  It's especially good with ginger ale, sprite and diet coke (not all at the same time, mind you).  It's also pretty smooth by itself.

Don't say I never did ya any favors....

"A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of 
honey left inside."
 - Winnie the Pooh

World peace, combos, and a complete lack of jeans and shoes

I really really really miss being able to blog frequently.  I will try to keep it up I swear I will but I'm thinking once or twice a week is just about as much as I can manage out here.  I do have a couple of things to say while I'm online, however.

One, I'm tired of food.  All food.  And yet, I get excited by the strangest types of food.  I know that seems contradictory but you'd understand if you were here.  It's a smorgasbord of eats here.  There are crab legs and lobster tails...ribeye and indian food...chinese buffet...salads...soft serve ice cream.  Honestly, it's everything you could want to eat.  But it gets so...freakin'....old!  I don't know what it is. I think part of it must be because I like the act of putting together a meal.  There's something satisfying about chopping up fresh vegetables and slaving over a hot stove.  Throwing things on a crappy used plate atop a brown plastic tray just gets a little unappetizing after awhile. 

Then again, there's the COMBOS.  I never knew how much I loved combos.  You know what I'm talking about.  Cheese filled, pretzel encrusted, salty combos.   Funny how you're surrounded by piles and piles of food and all you want is pre-packaged, cheese filled crapola.  But oh how I love the crapoloa.

It's almost the same way I love cereal right now.  Life, Sugar Smacks, Special K...you name it.  If it's normal, I WANT it! 

And now for something completely different...

How SUCK SUCK SUCKY is it that the one box that didn't get here was filled with jeans and tennis shoes?!?!?!  How...does...that...happen!?!?!  It's like I'm being punished or something.  I am functioning on cargo pants and hiking boots and this is really NOT ok.  Not to worry friends and countrymen/women/people/whatever...amazon ships to APO addresses and they ship pretty quickly as a matter of fact.  Too bad I shipped everything I wanted out here to...wait for it...wait for it...RICHMOND!  ergh! 

Other than that, all is well.  Movies are $5 a pop, nevermind you can hear the people laughing in the theater because THEY ACTUALLY FILMED IT WHILE THEY WERE WATCHING THE MOVIE AT THE MOVIE THEATER!  I'm not kidding!  At the end of "The Help", I saw the shadow of a person leaving the theater.  I poop you not! 

And if the excellent movie quality doesn't convince you to move to the desert, then the super duper awesome SATELLITE internet connection will!  WOOT WOOT.  It only takes me 17 hours to download a 5 minute you tube video clip...now THAT is technology. 

OR OR...there's the recycled sewer water they use to water the grass.  A novel and very "green" idea but a wee unpleasant as you're strolling to work with your cup of java.

But the people are great, the work is better, and I'm pleased as peaches to have hubs here with me.  I could complain (and obviously I will and do) but really, I'm a pretty lucky girl.

Did I mention the booze DID arrive!?!?!  :)

Baghdad is a circus

OR...there's a circus in Baghdad.  Yeah, that's what I meant to say.

In all seriousness, I thought this was pretty cool.  It's the first time the circus has come to town in Baghdad since probably 2003 or so.  I'm not a huge fan of the circus anymore but I was when I was a kid.  I loved loved loved the clowns and for a while I collected all sorts of clown figurines.  That is, until I read and later saw the movie, "It".  Needless to stay, that put the breaks on my appreciation of the circus.  Having said that, going to the circus ought the be an inalienable right as a child.  It seems really sad that all the violence here has kept the children from being able to enjoy the bright lights and pageantry of a three ring circus.

It's heartwarming to hear that they've brought it back even though, apparently, they are still waiting for the animals to clear security at the airport (seriously).  The show did go on though with acrobats and magic and other....circusy things so I thought I'd share a few of the photos that I found. 

Most cat sounding dog I ever heard

So this is what I heard on the way home from work tonight.  Apparently, they're all over Iraq but until I laid eyes on the little guys, I thought the ruckus belonged to a herd of angry cats.  Seriously strange sound.  I've heard coyotes and wolves but this was a new one on me.  I definitely wasn't prepared for the noise to belong to a dog lookin' thing.  According to all of the super lame research I've done tonight, they aren't scared of people and are known to carry rabies.  Glad I got all my shots.  Too bad about Z :(  Guess I'll have to put him out of his misery if he starts foaming at the mouth.

Poor Man's Margarita

"The Bullfrog"

This is an old family recipe.  I can remember my grandparents, great aunts and uncles, mom, dad, and the rest of the family huddled over a game of dominoes drinking round after round of Bullfrogs.  I always thought they looked so delicious, especially in the heat of summer.  I never could understand why they wouldn't let me have one.  Now I do.  Mixed right, this is one potent little beverage but you'd never know it because the limeade overpowers ANY alcohol taste. 

 If any of you are like me, you are desperately clinging to what's left of summer (even though, technically, I guess it's over).  Either way, there's still time to drown your sorrows in a glass of the soon-to-be world famous...BULLFROG!

 

 1 can frozen Minute Maid Limeade
 Vodka
 Ice

Pour Limeade into blender (you can let it sit out for a few minutes to soften if you like).  Fill empty Minute Made can with Vodka and pour on top of limeade.  Fill the remaining space in the blender with ice.  Blend.  Serve in cheesy red Solo cups.  If you want to get super fancy, you can salt the rim.  I wouldn't recommend getting too fancy though...sorta defeats the purpose.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking." -George W. Bush

My mom will be a tad irked that I used a G-Dubb quote but it was so appropriate, I couldn't resist.  


I heart Texas, it's pretty obvious.  And even though my fanaticism has waned somewhat over the last few years (only because I have someone to keep me company now and I don't spend ALL my hours thinking about all my loved ones back home), I still am pretty loony about the Lone Star State. 

I've been thinking a lot about home lately.  Not so much because I miss all my peeps there (although I really do) but because the climate here is remarkably similar to Texas.  That got me to thinking about all of the things I love about Texas and since I am incredibly vain, I thought you might care...whoever you are...

So, here, in no particular order are a few things that remind me of my very favorite State:

Texas country music.  Yes, there IS a difference!

Bluebonnets, I'm glad there's a law against picking them dammit!

Our CHAMPIONS!!!  The Dallas Mavericks!  What a great season!!

Armadillos.  This dearly departed Armadillo's name is Earl Wyatt ArmeDadillo.  Cassie loves him..so should you!

A rapidly vanishing bit of our heritage...the horned toad.  Want to help his cause?  Go here: Horned Lizard Conservation Society

America's Team!!!

Big Tex:  "Well Howdy Pawdnah!"

Wide open skies and the storms you can see for miles away because there's nothing blocking your view

Hole in the wall Mexican joints

Big Hair, Big Fun!

There's NO BBQ like Texas BBQ!!