Skinny Bitches and Little People

That's my birthday, in a nutshell.  Ok ok - so I'm just a wee (pun intended) behind in posting this but since it's technically still my birthday month, I'm allowed a certain amount of tardiness.  It's written in the law of August birthdays.  Look it up if you don't believe me.  

There are a lot of things I could have done to mark the occasion of my birthday.  I could have gone out to a nice dinner or treated myself to some cheesecake....you name it.  But when it came time to decide what would make the day really memorable, I chose The Hobbit House and I think when you see the photos, you'll understand why there really was no other option. 

This is on our way out and I'm sure that's obvious for a number of reasons, not the least of which includes the fact that I'm sitting on the ground in one of the more seedy parts of town.  When I say "seedy", you should really start to have visions of people peeing on sidewalks and women "singing" at karaoke bars.  And when I say "singing", I mean selling their souls and bodies.  But anyhoo....I was having fun so who cares!

As you can see, The Hobbit House is staffed (predominantly) by little people.  It is as hokey and as kitschy as you can get with references to Tolkien, T-shirts with any number of little person catch phrases ("small is beautiful", "i love hobbits" ...you get the idea), and a bathroom stall door so short I could easily see people coming and going from inside.  But it's one of those things that has made so many international top 10 lists that you just have to do it....once.  And once only.  I actually think that I owe the friends that went with us BIG TIME...because this was their second trip.  I honestly can't imagine going back; I guess it would have to be someone's birthday.  :)
 

That's our waitress Monette along with Z and our bottles of "complimentary" booze.  Complimentary in quotes because we had to drink several beers to acquire them.  I shudder to think what they might actually taste like and would have preferred the original offer of a free t-shirt with the purchase of several beers but....when in Rome. Monette was fabulous.  If you ever find yourself at The Hobbit House, ask for her.  She'll treat you right.  She might overcharge you - but she'll treat you right.  (Our bill was ENORMOUS by Manila standards and we still can't figure out if the math was done incorrectly or we just drank THAT much.  Perhaps a little of both.)  I think Monette would have been in love with the guys in our party regardless of the amount we spent.  She was nice to me but I could have been the Queen of England and she wouldn't have known - the girl was smitten.

She was nice enough to stop and take a picture with me though :)

Monette also indulged my "skinny bitch" requests (Thank you Katie!).  Long story short, a skinny bitch is a drink that my sister in law turned my on to and once I explained what it was to Monette, every time she delivered my drink, she would smile and say, "And a skinny bitch for the lady!"  Something about those words coming from that little lady in The Hobbit House in Manila - well....I think my life is a little more complete.

One thing I am enormously thankful for?  We did NOT NOT NOT eat at The Hobbit House.  Other than the peanuts that were on the table, none of us had anything that you could, well, chew.  On the one hand, it might have been smart to eat something given all of the adult beverages we were ingesting.  On the other hand, huh-uh no way!  The Hobbit House is one of those places you NEVER want to see in the harsh light of day and, as a rule, if you don't want to see a place in the daytime, you most certainly do not want to eat there. 

Then again, maybe if I'd ordered chips and salsa or something, the final picture of the night would not have turned out like this: 

Oh, one more thing.  The Hobbit House does boast some of the best live music around.  If you do a little research, you'll find many tripadvisor and yahoo reviewers say the same.  There were a couple different bands the night we were there and Z actually convinced one lady to play Johnny Cash....twice.  Again, it's one of those things that you don't entirely appreciate while it's happening but think about it.  We're sitting in a land far far away, drinking beer at The Hobbit House, and listening to Johnny Cash songs - live.  Just sayin....

Ring of Fire bitches....Ring of Fire (and yes, that's a scrunchy)

Val Kilmer's Elbow

From time to time (read: DAILY), I am guilty of  going down random rabbit-holes on the interwebs.  I have admittedly gotten lost searching "celebrity deformities" more than once as it is by far one of the more satisfying time wasters.  Now, because I am a typically nice person and have a guilty conscience, I would like to caveat that I don't think the following deformities/abnormalities/quirks make any of these people less beautiful or talented but I think sometimes we forget that these folks are real people.  They poo poo on the potty, probably pick their nose, and don't wake up looking like they do on the cover of the magazines we are constantly buying.  These little irregularities just happen to bring home that fact.

No chance I'm even close to the first person who has shared these photos but hey, the beauty of a personal blog is that it's personal.  I can do what I want!  None of the following are my photos (obvi!), fyi.  No attribution provided because there are so many copies out there, it's impossible to find the original. So, without further ado....DEFORMITIES OF YOUR FAVORITE STARS:

In the interest of full disclosure, I think that his elbow has gotten significantly better over the last several years.  Apparently, it was calcium buildup after he fell on it while filming a scene for The Doors. 

 I think this is my favorite.  I may have even already blogged about it.  I would have NEVER seen this on my own.  Thank you webstalkers!  Anything that helps us make fun of T.C. is appreciated.

OUCH!

Toe nubbins!!!!

No one looks at her damn belly button anyway!

 

Again, I'm guessing 99.999999% of the world's male population could give two shits about her thumbs!

Of course, his quirk is super cool!

Admit it, you're jealous you can't do "nanoo nanoo!" with your toes!

Way too distracted by his abs to even notice he has nipples...much less three of them.

And this is like a mini tribute to Granny D.  I used to untwist her twisty toes for fun.  Grandparents will let you do anything, I swear. 

Tamarind - looks like poo, tastes delicious!

Careful now, you might actually learn something if you read the following but don't worry, I promise to add some mind numbing commentary that I probably think is hilarious and makes you think I'm just plain weird. 

As I've mentioned before, one of the greatest things about living in the Philippines is direct access to all of the exotic fruits and vegetables.  With a market right outside our building every Saturday, I literally have no excuse not to try everything.  Now, admittedly, I did not acquire this particular batch of fruit at a market and this is technically my second box (it's THAT good) but I haven't had Internet for a week....so sue me.  

TAMARIND is a pod-like fruit that grows on a tree native to tropical Africa.  The name "tamarind" comes from tamar hindi or "Indian date" which is fitting since the tamarind tastes a bit like a sweet and sour date. 

Full grown Tamarind tree:

Photo Attribution

And here are the pods still attached to the tree: 

Photo Attribution

Now you are starting to understand the poo reference, no?


Most of us have had tamarind without even knowing it....ever eat Worcestershire sauce?  Tamarind is one of the main ingredients.  Who knew?!  It's also used in all kinds of seasonings (especially in Southeast Asia), chutneys, curries, etc.  In the Yin/Yang philosophy that is applied to many Asian dishes, the tamarind would be considered a "Yin" food because of its slightly acidic yet cooling qualities. 

Though it has some of the highest sugar content of any fruit, it also has some pretty substantial health benefits.  It's high(ish) in dietary fiber and has a significant amount of tartaric acid - which is apparently a very powerful antioxidant (and no, I didn't know any of this prior to 5 minutes ago, wikipedia, and a google search).  Tamarind is also a good source of iron, calcium, and thiamine.  It is used as a mild laxative, a digestive and as a remedy for bile disorders (ew!). 

If you like dates, I think you'll like the tamarind.  You kinda never know what you're going to get until you crack open the shell.  Sometimes, they are very sweet (more mature) and sometimes, super sour (younguns).  If they're dry, don't eat them.  Also, if they're covered in dead maggots (don't ask), I might shy away.  I like them in the shell because eating them is more like an activity.  If you're a fan of peanuts in the shell or peel and eat shrimp, you know what I mean.  Eating a tamarind isn't just good because they taste great but it's entertaining too. 

Having said ALL that, you must get over the appearance of the tamarind to enjoy the fruits (pun, as usual, fully intended) of your labor.  

You can see what I mean: 

 

Look at that!  Even with special lighting and all of the photo fixes Picasa could muster it still looks like Mr. Hanky the Christmas poo. 

The similarities are uncanny.  And btw, anyone else bothered yet slightly excited that there is a Mr. Hankey bobble head??

Sadly, I think tamarind is pretty hard to find in the States so you may be out of luck.  Then again, given above Christmas Poo reference, you might not be in the market for tamarind....like....ever. 

Road Trippin and the Tinkertown Museum

Last year was a VERY busy year for us so you'll, I hope, forgive that I am just getting around to posting some 2012 tidbits.  Some things I'm sure I'll never get around to but there's at least one thing that I have to spread the word about or I won't be able to live with myself.  See, last May, husbear and I rented an RV (we'll call her "Bessie") and drove a sorta upside down horseshoe through Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico then through Texas, Arkansas and Tennessee to get back to Northern Virginia.  It was a fantastic trip and I'm so so glad we did it.  I hope to share more of our adventures in the NO SHIT wild wild west but first and foremost, I need to let you in on a little secret.

Should you ever be in the neighborhood (and trust me, you won't ever be....so just drive there on purpose ok?), you should stop by this little museum/curio/roadside attraction/junkyard/all around awesome venue: THE TINKERTOWN MUSEUM.  It was the ONE damn thing I really wanted to do on this roadtrip that didn't involve majestic scenery, hiking until we were purple in the face, or eating BBQ (we did all that too and yes....it was equally awesome).  Er...maybe not equally.  Because if you're me, the Tinkertown Museum pretty much epitomizes everything that is right and good in the world of road trips.

A sign found in Tinkertown that puts into words why RVing is still so popular and why we did this instead of a European vacation.

My husband had a moment's hesitation where he almost insisted we keep driving because we we needed to "start covering some ground" but a quick look at my face and I think he knew it was a fight he ever had a chance of winning.  In any case, he did right by me and indulged my inner child (thank you dear) by stopping at this relic.

There have been many articles written and interviews given about this place so I won't bore you with the history.  If you want to know more, you can do so by clicking here, here, or here. 

And here's a video of Tinkertown with possibly the worst flute music I've ever heard:

What I will say is that almost everything in Tinkertown was MADE BY HAND over a 40 year period by one guy, Ross Ward (the dearly departed).

I think, in my case, I'll just let the pictures tell the story.  Here are just a few snapshots from the museum that was made "while you were watching TV"....

I can't remember how much we paid to get into the museum but it was worth every damn penny so cough that shit up if you find yourself in Sandia, NM.

 

Wish this picture did justice to the scale of the place and the work that went in.  I mean, one guy carved ALL that stuff!  Sorry, I know it's a crap picture - I was TOO excited!

Even Mary Poppins makes a visit.  How very superkalifragilisticexpialidocious!

PBR me ASAP

This was one of my favorites though I can't say I understand it.  The Rusty Wyer Band is jamming out (you can see the whole band here) but what's that scary little ol' lady doin?  I don't know but it makes a great photo op.

Seriously?  How freakin' cool is that?? Who needs to drive all the way to Tombstone when you can have THIS experience at Tinkertown?  Um...no one.

This is one of the many "automated" displays.  There's a little switch you can turn that makes the chicken run away from the chef.  If you look close, you can see the chicken there....and the chef running after him with a meat cleaver.  Can you imagine?  The chicken alone must have taken him a full day to carve.  Crazy when you think about it!

This one makes me think he may have had a wee carving....problem/addiction.

Forgive the poor picture quality but this was pretty neat too.  He did a scaled Big Top circus and up top were real photos of circus performers.

The deets:  Tinkertown is open from April 1st through October 31st, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., 7 days a week -- last admission sold at 5:30 pm

ADULTS: $3.50
GEEZERS (62+): $3.00
KIDS 4-16: $1.00
KIDS Under 4: Free

121 Sandia Crest Rd  Sandia Park, NM 87047


And one more thing, I think I have to thank my parents for instilling in me the ability to appreciate things like this.  This place truly is a simple pleasure in a complex world and I'm glad we went just a little bit out of our way to visit.  The dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving Point in Utah was another great example of this but I guess that's a story for another day.  Anyway, thanks to mom and dad for all the quirky road trips - makes you appreciate the little things.