Top 20 Memorable Moments from 2013

Welcome to a new year everybody!  It's 2014 - we're in the mid-20-teens, can you believe it?  But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let's take a look back over 2013 and try to recall some of the more memorable moments (for good or ill).  If you're like me, you spend the entire first day of the new year watching either marathons of your favorite tv show or best of/worst of countdowns.  I love those shows - you either feel inspired (Malala Yousafzai) or like your life is awesome by comparison (Manti Malietau Louis Teʻo). I couldn't decide whether to focus on the good, bad, or ugly so I opted to go with "memorable" - cause that gives me the liberty to highlight just about anything.  So here we go in no particular order and not necessarily memories shared by millions....

20. The year of the tongue

Miley's tongue made so many appearances that three guys created a website called Miley Cyrus' Infinite Tongue.  Check it out - it goes on forever...literally.

19. NFL Bad Lip Reading: One of the funniest viral videos I've seen in a long time. 

      -"I found Fido.  Hey I found Fido you guys!"
      -"oooh I'm white"
      -"I brought a potion and it's gonna work great cause it's gonna make you run. And you brought your potion right?"

18. "Who am I to judge?" - Pope Francis turns out to have a conscience and the courage to use his voice.  That's not to say Catholicism (and religion in general) don't have a long way to go in terms of tolerance but hey, it's something.

17. The Boston Bombing - like I said, "memorable" does not necessarily mean "good". 

16. Iraq: The story that disappeared from the headlines.  Almost a thousand Iraqis died in December 2013.   Nearly 10000 died the past year (the most since 2008).  What was broken remains broken and the country appears permanently shattered by inter-ethnic persecution and violence.

15. YOLO, Twerk, Cray cray, Poppin tags, Selfies = I'm too old for this shit.

14. "We are the not dead" - Fascinating Gallery of soldiers before, during, and after war

13.  Woman Finds Dog During Interview After Huge Oklahoma Tornado

12.  Liar liar Lance on Fire: Lance turns out to be the DB we all thought he was.  Biggest loser in Armstrong's game of lies?  His Charity organization, Livestrong.  Commercials like this one still give me the heebs:

11. Naked Frisbee Guy: While our husbands were out on their Thai fishing trip, my friend Lorren and I decided to go on a nice peaceful walk on the beach.  When what to our wandering eyes should appear but an elderly naked Frisbee player with his fully dressed Thai female companion -- and their dog. Though the "family" saw us approach from several yards away, he never fully covered up.  He was, however, polite enough to cover his man parts when we were within a few feet....with the Frisbee. 

10.  Justin Bieber's poor judgment is not limited to late night antics.  Unfortunately for all of us, it bleeds over into his wardrobe....

Character from Mario Brothers or a hat?  You decide.

9. Snowden - what ever side you're on, this was/is big news.  There is a lighter side to this story, however, because the world's most famous whistleblower/traitor was formerly the boyfriend of this little chippy.  Hard to be Mr. Serious-holier-than-thou when your best girl uses cupcakes to cover her tee taws..... 

8.  Cassie becomes an extremely well-traveled wiener dog when her humans move to the Philippines

 

7.  I discover there exists "Asian" food that I don't like - and I'll be surrounded by it for three years:  Filipino Food.  I'm sorry to all my local Filipino friends but adding salt, garlic, or sugar to something does not necessarily make it better.  I had high hopes (despite hearing about the food ahead of time) but sadly, I have yet to experience a good Filipino meal.  Below is one of the staples of Filipino menus, Chicken Adobo (but you can also find pork, beef or seafood adobo - bleh).  Me no likey....

Chicken A-No-No

6. "Playing hide and seek with a cuttlefish sucks."  Just watch it.  Thank us later.

5. And speaking of Cray cray:  The God Particle or What the Hell is Higgs Boson?

4. Russian Meteor aka Go Go Gadget Social Media: How cool was it to see all the different videos and pictures of this asteroid raining down on Russia like a boss!?

3. Mandela brings the world together, one last time.  R.I.P 5 December 2013

 

2. The L&Z Halloween party comes to Manila - and scares the hell outta people

1. We move our whole life and our pup about a million miles away from most of our family and friends.  In May 2013, Z and I started a brand new adventure and while Manila certainly has had its ups and downs, it's always better to go through a big change like this with someone you love.  As always, one of the most important rules of life remained true in 2013 - home IS where your heart is.  My heart is spread out to many different places but my home? My home is always where Z is and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Thank goodness the feeling is mutual.  Otherwise....awkward.  

Happy 2014 everyone!  Hug the ones you love and send shout outs to those you'll have to hug later.  Much love!  Z, L, and Cassie the wunder wiener.

Channeling Tom Selleck - Distraction from Syria, Part 2

I'm not saying we shouldn't read the news.  I'm simply offering a break from dreariness of it all.  So, in the spirit of giving back to my fellow Americans, here's a little piece of my distorted mind that I hope will make you smile.   Happy Friday!  Happy Thursday night if you're on the other side of the world!
 -----------------------
(UPDATE:  After re-reading this, I feel compelled to offer a quick caveat.  Just because someone appears on this list, does NOT mean I find them dreamy.  Some people just fit the mold so perfectly, they couldn't be overlooked. K...I feel better now.)

The other day, Z wore a shirt unbuttoned just so to reveal a patch of burly man chest hairs.  He will HATE that I used the word "burly" there. In fact, he might hate that I brought up his chest hairs in a public forum at all.  But who cares!?

I always giggle and say something like, "What's up Tom?" when he does this but secretly, I think it's pretty sexy.  Men SHOULD have chest hair and I absolutely HATE IT when they shave but that, my friends, is a story for another post.  You guys (er...mostly gals, I suppose) know what I'm getting to here don't you?  Who is the king of chest hair?  That's right...Tom Freakin' Selleck! He's also the king of mustaches but, again, story for another post.

So my handsome husband and Tom Selleck got me thinkin' - who else in our wide world is unafraid of chest hair exposure (aka man cleavage).  Down the rabbit hole I go......to bring you "The Not So Definitive List of People You Might Know Who Often (or Even Occasionally) Show The World Their PG-rated Short and Curlies".  OMG - I KILL me!

I find Simon Cowell to be a total DB but he is a frequent chest-hair-revealer so, on the list he goes.

Jude-mutha-grubbin-Law

It's rumored that Tom Jones' chest hair is actually insured...to the tune of 7 MILLION big ones!

Holy shit!  I just had me a gibgasm!  What a hunka man he was/is!  Nom nom nom nom nom

And in other news....

Because surely a wet suit/vest outfit needs to be unzipped....down to there.

And of course, the one and only...TOM SELLECK.  Ignoring the fact that he's advertising girly cigarettes, is that not the best photo of him ever?  Look at those eyes!  The dimples!  The chesticles!  Burly.Man.Hunk. 

Nothing says thank goodness we have insurance ....

....like six Filipinos moving a flat screen.  

Yes yes ...I know there are only five here.

But that was before I said, "Do you mind if I take your picture?"  Sometimes, I really love this country :)

I have to give Mr. Simple Pleasures credit though - he didn't really even flinch through the whole process.   I feel sure he would have lurked over them if they were using the mounting system but thankfully, we decided on the ol' TV stand.  

Having Nieva around does not suck.  She even tolerates Cassie's box...um..."problem" really well.  I swear I don't know why we even buy toys.  All she ever wants to do is eat cereal and beer boxes. 

I love this picture for so many reasons.  First, Cassie's butt can barely be seen under the stool, still exhibiting OCD tendencies where cardboard boxes are concerned.  Then there's my husband who, when I said "pose", made THAT face.  And finally, you can see our movers are still figuring out how not to drop our flat screen. Anything could have happened but nothing really did.  Cassie didn't eat the frooooot loops, Zach didn't have a heart attack and the movers didn't drop our third child (the dog and the coffee machine being child one and two, respectively...depending on the day and caffeine requirements).  Sometimes I wonder if I make sense to anyone but myself.  Then again, who gives a crap.  If no one reads this, I can go back to doodling flowers and puppy dogs.  Whheeeeeeeeeee.  Er....perhaps just a wee too much rain for me the last few days.  CABIN FEVER is dangerous.  Why don't they do public service announcements?!?!

Moving day was a long time ago.  What can I say, I am woefully behind on the blogging I guess.  One of my dear friends (who might not remain dear for much longer) called me a "trophy wife" the other day.  Bastard.  But I have taken up oil pastels, curtain sewing, dog training, cooking, and collaging (is that even a word) so I guess, I can't really argue and in some ways, maybe I should take it as a compliment?  I'd rather be a trophy wife than simply a kept woman and don't you DARE try to tell me they're the same.  Oh....btw...I WILL have a job again one day soon dammit.  But until then, I am blogging and painting and teaching my damn dog to sit.  Oh...and watching the flat screen while doing my nails.  Padow!

I can't wear pointy shoes anymore...and 35 other ways my mid-30s differ greatly from my mid-20s..

1. My flats now officially outnumber my heels.

2. My freckles are combining to form one, large superfreckle.

3. I will never experiment with dark hair colors - gray is only well concealed by blonde.  Sorry my brunette friends.  It's a fact.

4. Vodka is (still) not my friend and more importantly, I am finally realizing she never really was.  Bitch.   

5. I rarely stay up past 11 or sleep in later than 7. 

6. I floss....more than once a day and without anyone telling me to. 

7. I unashamedly buy prunes at the grocery store and actually like the way they taste. 

If you buy this bag, you can trick yourself into thinking you're eating "plums" and not prunes.  Let's not get all attentiony to detailsy ok?  I know they're the same.

8.  My idea of a fun birthday is going to a midget restaurant and going to bed early enough that I can still make the Saturday morning market at 0730. (Seriously, that's what we're doing tonight.  Going to the "Hobbit House" - please try to tell me you're not jealous.  LIAR!)

9. My coffee maker cost more than most people's yearly salary in the Philippines. 

10. I still spend hours at the gym but I have realized life is too short not to have a piece of cake every once in a while. 

11. On the rare occasion I am spotted at "the club", I am usually trying to locate an empty barstool because...#12.

12.  I can't wear pointy shoes anymore....or let's be honest, ANY heels for more than 2 hours.  Screw you heredity and bad decisions!! Screw you!  

13. People are FINALLY doing the math.  She's 35?  Yeah...maybe she's really NOT having kids.  

14.  I think I'm in a different census bracket.  

15. My oldest nephew is in college....and has been for a while now.  This must hurt my sister worse than it does me. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!  

16.  The outside of the card that my husband gave me this morning says, "To the 35 year old woman who lives with me." WTF?!?!  I shudder to think what it says on the inside.  Then again, it's atop a Hermes bag so how bad could it be??

17. OMG 17! I don't even remember you anymore!

18. I no longer tight roll my jeans although I did give into the skinny jeans trend some time ago.  I am ashamed....(yes, I know that tight rolling was not a 2003 kinda thing but a 35-item-long list is tough ok??)

19. My toes are perpetually polished....and almost always by someone else!  BAM!  I found a 35 year old perk. 

20. I cook.  Like....a lot.  Real meals and shit. 

21. I barely remember what it's like to live in Texas but I will never stop being a Texan!

22. I haven't cried at the sound of a Matchbox Twenty song in over 10 years but I still sing along (er...yell) with P!nk.  That bitch speaks the truf!

23. I no longer consider tight jeans and a halfsy top wardrobe staples.  That is HALF true.  

24. I am a responsible and dedicated pet owner.  Consider this an open apology to Harley, Chevy and Rufus - who I loved but didn't really know how to take care of. 

25. There it is - 25.  TEN EFFING YEARS AGO?!?!  What the hell happened? Well, everything, thank god. 

26. In six months, I will have been away from "home" for 10 years. 

27. I looooooooove grocery shopping.  I liked it in my mid-20s but I couldn't afford anything so, as you can imagine, not so fun.  Now I could (happily) spend a whole day at Wegmans or Harris Teeter or Kroger or Target Superstore.  Sigh...I miss 'Murrica. 

28. I am a wife...and a pretty good one most days. 

29. I regularly plan for retirement and can visualize the library I will build in our dream home....on a lake...surrounded by animals...and family...and....you get the idea. 
 

That picture is like porn to me.

30. I don't thoughtlessly destroy furniture on creative whims.  Hello decoupage!

31. I covet...and can actually afford a full set of Le Creuset cookware.  

32. I have transitioned into quality vs. quantity.  At least, in my mind I have.  Hard.to.let.go.

33. I am pretty good at keeping plants alive.  When I first started dating Z, he had me watch his cactus "Clint" when he went out of town.  I left Clint on the patio - in the winter - in Virginia.  Whoops.
 

RIP Clint

34. I realize I still have a lot of growing up to do but I try to be a better person every day because even though I hope I have a lot of livin' to do, you just never know. 

35. I am happy.  For real....really happy.

How has your life changed in the last 10 years?  Hey FB friends and family...feel free to respond on my actual blog.  I can ask you to do this because, dammit, it's my birthday! :)

I think I have an incurable condition...

...compulsive list-making.

I was sitting at work this morning and my computer was in a perpetual state of frozen so I thought, during the lags, I would work on my "lists".  Yes, there are several.  They breed...like freakish bunnies.   In fact, my current "list book" is organized with my standard lists in the front and then, if you flip the whole spiral over and turn it upside down, you'll find the lists to help me prep for our upcoming desert "vacation".

I crossed off and restarted and threw away and rethought almost all of my lists.  When my computer decided to go completely AWOL, I decided it was probably best to start a brainstorming list.  Guess the topic???  Come on...guess guess guess!  No?  Give up?  Duh...blog ideas!   The list went on and on...to the back of the page and then back to the front.  Sadly, my computer started working again but this is what I ended up with.  As far as lags in productivity go, this one was pretty astounding:

(Don't look too close though...then you'll know what's coming!)
 

BTW, check this out!   One of the characteristics of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder is, "preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order or organization to the extent that you often forget the major point of the activity."

What were we talking about again??