Murder, Mayhem and Creepy Dolls with a Bonus Rant on WHY GOOGLE CHROME SUCKS!

I think I'll start with the rant since it will explain why I am unable to use Picasa Web Albums OR Google Chrome to edit my photos the way I would like.  Actually, I'm so fed up with trying to get the systems to work, I don't even want to get too far in the weeds.  Suffice it to say, Picasa works only to view my photos now (unless you count "enhancing" as an advanced photo editing tool and I definitely do not). When I tried to edit the photos I wanted to publish on this post, it said that I needed to download Google Chrome (argh).  I say argh but I did it...and still...no dice.  Shortly after, I read a MILLION complaints about how the whole Google Chrome "thing" destroyed a lot of people's ability to edit their photos.  Needless to say, there are a whole bunch of people out there who use Picasa and Google+ far more than I ever did who are PISSED.  All I wanted was validation that I wasn't crazy ... that the shit just did not work anymore.  And it doesn't.  If you know of anyone who knows differently, please do tell.  If you are a Google Plus or Chrome Rep, first poo poo on you.  Second, if you can fix this, I take it all back...just please, for the love of all things photo edit, help us!  

On to what will most likely be a disappointing post.....

So, I am knee deep in Halloween Party prep and I really think our decorations would make even Rob Zombie proud!

See how this photo is super cool?  That's because 1.  it's not mine and 2. Google Chrome/Picasa were NOT used to edit said picture. 

I fully intend to do some tutorials on how to make some of this stuff because (and I don't mean to brag) some of it turned out AWESOME!  But, right now, I just don't have any time at all.  I can't even really figure out how I'm gonna pull this off at the moment....but I will....I will.  

One thing that sucks about being in Manila during my FAVORITE time of year is the town's (and probably country's) total lack of Halloween gear.  There are a few things at the local department store, mind you, but there is no Spirit Halloween or Party City equivalent and that totally sucks!  (I am gonna need a pass to use the word "sucks" as many times as I want during this post, k?)

Point is, even though I shipped a lot of the Halloween decorations we had, I didn't ship everything and even if I had...well...it's just never enough.  (Having said that, NO IDEA how the giant furry spider and two headed zombie baby didn't make the cut.  WTF Lindsey?!?!)  So, I have taken to "makin' stuff" - as Grandma Squidbilly might say. No suitable trophies for best costumes?  I got this!  No tombstones?  No problem!  No invitations?  Hallmark ain't got nothin' on me!  If it sounds like I'm being too boastful well, suck it!  I'm exhausted!  I have been breathing spray paint and various types of glue products for 2 weeks and it's not even October yet.  I think I'm allowed a little gloating. 

I was thinking, in addition to my house looking like a bodyfarm, they might send out the men in white coats if they were to look at my browsing history.  [That is my way of admitting that I am not this creative all by my lonesome.  There are LOADS of people who are as demented as I am and it has been a blast reading/watching all of their how-tos.]  But who has time to worry about mental health professionals at a time like this?  

Anyhoo - here's a sneak peak at some of the stuff I've been working on.  I don't guess there will be any spoilers unless, that is, you plan on flying 18 hours to attend this soiree.  In which case, book that flight and we'll make you up a coffin....er...bed. 

I'd show you the inside of the invite but, well, you're probably not invited....and I don't need a bunch of blog stalkers showing up at our front door.  Skelly on the right is a copy of the original drawing I did, left is the actual invitation and the envelope is just a simple manila envelope that I added a little creepy stencil to.  The theme is a Halloween/Dia de los muertos combo costume party - thus the sugar skull. :)

The beginnings of a fruit loop/raisin bran coffin/trophy

outside of best couple trophy - haven't added the final layer of "aging" or shellac but you get the idea

And the inside.  (Damn you Picasa and Chrome....damn you!!)  

What's in the box??!?!  Doll babies....that have no idea what they're in for. 

This is only the first step in making a creepy doll.  LOTS more to go but the damn spray paint is taking FOREVER to dry.  More to come...

I decided to buy and paint some masks both for decoration and so we'd have some extra costumes for anyone that dares to show up costume-less.  This is the bare mask.  Still a little creepy no? 

I found some guy's website that showed how to make a version of this mask.  He called him "skin face" but I think "vein face" is more appropriate.  Anyway, I think he needs more gore and some darker paint, don't you? 

I really like this sugar skull.  Simple to make but I think they're so striking.   I have made a few other little trinkets to go on a dia de los muertos altar - hopefully it will all turnout!

And this?  Well...I think you'll just have to wait. 

Lost in Translation Part Deux

My walls are still white.  


I'm feeling like this guy....

After this exchange I guess I shouldn't be surprised but you know what I am allowed to feel?  Annoyed.  And boy am I.  

On Friday, the painters came. I thought they were coming with colors to pick from and would offer a quote.  I was partially right.  Apparently, they were just coming to introduce themselves, give us a quote, and tell us what to pick up from the hardware store.  I guess that's why the labor is so cheap - it does NOT come with its own supplies.  After reciting the list of items we'd need to pick up from the store, we CONFIRMED (please read that again....CONFIRMED) the painters would arrive ready to work Monday morning after 0900.  I told the main guy (*we'll call him Pablo the Painter) that if we were for some reason unable to acquire the materials before Monday, I would send him a text and let him know.  (On a side note, you should be aware that Pablo the Painter is only the "main guy" because his English is the best of the group.  He is not really a painter at all.  He's someone's driver. His brother is the painter by trade.  But anyway...I digress.)

It seemed all was right with the world.  We were a little aggravated to have to go get the paint and supplies ourselves but for getting two whole rooms painted for about $27, we couldn't really complain. 

So anyway, here's what went down (and remember, this is all via text message because that's how EVERYONE here communicates): 

455p (Sunday), Pablo the Painter:  Good afternoon mam are the painters ready for tomorrow to come mam?  

601p (Sunday) Me: We have the stuff so yes.  Not before 9am please. 

1030a (Monday) Me: Do you know what time they will arrive? 

crickets....crickets.....crickets..chirpy chirp chirrrrrrp

1054a Me: Do you know what time they will arrive? 

crickets again .... frustration rising....visions of what I COULD have gotten accomplished this morning floating through my head. 

1119a  Me:  I have some things to do this afternoon.  Will they be here soon? 

1120a Pablo the Painter:  Yes mam

yay!!  it's still technically morning so my anger fades and I start thinking about where I'm going to hang things when they're done. 

1129a Pablo the Painter:  Maybe tomorrow mam they will come. they are waiting order to come today i text you last night mam. 

W.T.F?!?!?!?! Anger returns, amplified....I am at DefCon 5 - full scale bitch alert. 

1131a  Me:  And I replied last night that we were ready.  Why are you just now telling me they can't come today? 

1133a Pablo the Painter: I did not recieve your text mam just their names only mam.  (he's referencing a text I sent confirming their names for the front desk if you care; which I'm certain you don't)

1134a Me:  9 am tomorrow or we will just find someone else ok? 

1136a Pablo the Painter: Okay i'm sorry i will them mam.

Lost in translation

They say English is one of the official languages of the Philippines but, with all due respect, I'm not so sure.  Before you go thinking that I'm being a snob or that I believe everyone should understand me (and I them) even though I'm in a foreign country, NOT SO.  I acknowledge on a very regular basis that the Filipinos' mastery of English is far far better than my fluency in Tagalog (which doesn't exist...not even in the slightest).  

But we were told that it would be unnecessary to learn the language because English is so common.  Unfortunately, that doesn't mean conversations go quite as you might hope.  Here is the text exchange between myself and the painter who is coming to give us a quote for painting some of our walls (you know, hypothetically).  

Date of Conversation:  evening of Wednesday 17 July

Me: Hi, my friend gave me your number.  Can you come by our apt and give a quote on painting some walls?
(immediate response)Painter: Ok mam
(immediate response)Me: We are at (address).  Any time next Friday after 9 am would be great.
(several hours later)Painter: Sorry for late reply i was busy driving my boss also on that condo at 30th floor.  I was on duty the whole day.  I can meet you after my duty. 
Painter: I will come on Friday. 
Me:  Great. See you then. 
Me:  Next friday...not the 19th. (realizing already that I probably needed to clarify)
Painter: Next friday mam this week. 

So, I know what you're thinking.  Any fool would have seen that last text and realized the chances were pretty good he was going to show up this Friday not NEXT Friday but we were out at dinner and by the time I put it all together it was too late in the evening to text him back.  And then I forgot. Until....
...
...
...

....is morning (NOT....you will note...NEXT Friday): 

Painter: Good morning we are here now at your building.
Me: Next friday...the 26th.  I am leaving for work now.  Sorry.
Painter: Ok mam

Photo attribution

Colonel Littleton

Colonel Littleton, Purveyor of Fine Accouterments in the Americana Tradition

Col. Littleton storefront in Nashville. 

Dresser caddy made of American Bridle leather

Col. Littleton will engrave just about any of their products

Foxfire Stag bone knife, engraved with hubby's initials and the year

Trying on the Colonel's wares in Nashville.  He'll kill me for posting this but I couldn't resist!

Below is the email I received prior to my Colonel Littleton package arriving.  I am always especially grateful when I run into customer service of this caliber.  This was an unsolicited email from the store manager.  I hadn't requested the status of my package, nothing was delayed, there was absolutely no reason for the company to contact me which is exactly why it's so great that they did!  Their stuff isn't cheap but it's handmade and comes with a lifetime guarantee so, for me, it's worth the money.  Their focus on customer satisfaction only serves to sweeten the deal!