Lost in Translation, Part Three - Water Deliver Edition

Welcome to another installment of Lost in Translation.  Today on "Lost", we find the author of Simple Pleasures not enjoying ANY simple pleasures whatsoever.  Meanwhile, somewhere in Manila, a crowd of 17 year old delivery boys are laughing their fool heads off.  And these....are the days...of my life.....

Saturday is a typical water delivery day for us.  We call or text sometime during the week and they show up Saturday (after lunch) with our water.  I did that.  They confirmed.  I thought we were all good.  Saturday came and went without any sign of our water refills.   (NOTE: You will understand why I italicized "after lunch" later.)

Late Saturday evening

Me: Where is my water? 

Water peeps: Mam we currently out of stock of wilkins no delivery from plant.  Hopefully by monday or tuesday.  we have stock. thanks. 

Me: Out of all water or do you have other brands? 

Water peeps: Yes we do

Me: So, NO water? Or just no wilkins?

Water peeps: Yes mam no water. Im sorry, by monday we have a delivery of of viva coming. 

Me: What is the price? 

Water peeps: 135. 

Me: Ok, please deliver 7 bottles of viva asap. 

Water peeps: Ok. 

Me: Um...when will you deliver? 

Water peeps: After lunch. 

It was at this point that I started to have visions of the "two weeks" scenes from Money Pit...

 Monday Afternoon (enter tropical storm Maring)

Me: Where is my water? 

Me: It was supposed to be here after lunch today? This is the customer at 123 IAmGoingCrazy Lane.

Water Peeps:  Sori mam.  Our office closed 2day becoz of flooding.  Our staff didnt come in due to no available transportation.

Me: Tomorrow then? 

Water Peeps: Ok

Me: U should let customers know.  I could have gotten some at grocery just now but didn't because I thought it would be delivered. 

Water peeps: Mam our house are flooded.  I hope u understand why i cant let you know that no delivery today.  I live at xxxxx.  No electricity, my celphne are lowbat. 

Great - now I feel like an asshole.  Except, WTF?!?!  I am just trying to get water.  Not like it's important for survival or sustenance or anything.  I should really just keep my trap shut and start boiling water from the tap right?  Oh hells no...

Tuesday Morning

Me: I understand its difficult but I was just trying to figure out when to expect delivery.  Plz don't take it personally. 

For the record, I didn't even bother to ask about delivery on Tuesday.  The rain here has been constant the last couple of days.  Monday and Tuesday were total washouts and I'm sure Wednesday would have been also were it not already a holiday.  At this point, I was just hoping they'd decide to work the holiday....and that the rain would effing let up.

Wednesday Afternoon

Me: Is there any chance we will get water soon? 
1228 Today

Water peeps: Pls wait mam our delivery was in 123 IAmGoingCrazy Lane already

Me: Wait until when?  U delivered water today?!?  When will we get ours?

Water peeps: Yes 2day mam this afternoon.  After lunch. 

Me: Ok great! Thank you! 1232 (btw - LOOK AT ME!!!  I am still trying to be gracious!)

Me: Is the water still coming?
---627 pm today

And I know this will shock you but after two hours of waiting for a response.....nada.  Good thing we're not thirsty.  Strike that.  Good thing we have wine and beer.  Plenty of water in those two beverage staples.

The moral of this story is, dammit I DO care and I DO sympathize but that doesn't mean I don't want some tiny wittle bittle shred of customer service.  Just TELL me you're not coming.  I could have bought a GD case of water from the S&R and the problem would have been solved.  I would have happily (ok, that might be a stretch) waited until after you got your shit together and the storm passed for my water because I would have had a water cushion.  Ha - that sounds funny no?  A water cushion.  You didn't know we were living in Wet 'n Wild did ya? 

For what it's worth to anyone who might be confused or gives a damn, it's not as easy as you might think to find a replacement water delivery "company".  And I now know that "company" is not at all an accurate way of describing a kid on a bike, peddling from god knows where to deliver our water.  But you get the idea.  It's just not that easy to find someone to get off their poop shoots and deliver water on the spot.  So here I sit with a 1/2 a bottle of water, rain that is sputtering out, and patience so fried you could serve it up at the Texas State Fair.  This is neither a tragedy or a crisis.  If push comes to shove, I'll just send Z down to the market to pick some up.  But that is....BESIDE THE DAMN POINT!

Sala Restaurant - European Fine Dining in Makati

Hubs and I were looking for a nice place to celebrate our anniversary in Manila and after reading several reviews, I chose Sala Restaurant -- billed as fine dining a la Europe.  To be honest, after a couple of weeks eating at restaurants where the phrase "too much salt" clearly isn't part of the vernacular, we were just looking for something....normal.  We got that (and more) at Sala.  I wouldn't say I was bowled over by the meals themselves but the dessert - best I've had in a looooong time.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let's go back to first impressions. 

Sala is small.  Super small.  Quaint might be a good word.  It's literally a "room" which makes sense given I think that's what "Sala" translates to - at least partially.  There's nothing offputting about the size, don't get me wrong.  We were just surprised.  The restaurant is located off of a VERY busy and cacophonous road but once you're inside, there's not a hint of the hustle and bustle of the world outside.  As many people have said before, Sala would be a great place for a business dinner or (as in our case) a romantic dinner.  

The staff were friendly but not oppressive, as can often be the case in Manila.  Sometimes too much is just too much ya know?  The drinks came quickly and were strong which is always a good thing when you know you're going to pay a little bit more.  

I was trying to be a good little blogger by writing down the descriptions of all of the food but, sadly, I left my little notebook behind and never went back to pick it up.  Long story short, the following is either from memory or from their online menu (which isn't that accurate because their menu is changing all the time).  Anyhoo...here's the little complimentary appetizer the brought us which I'm sure I'll do NO JUSTICE by describing it as a sweet tomato and goat cheese toast thingamajig: 

Our appetizers were fantastic although, again, I forget the lovely descriptions the restaurant used.  Mine was a creamy scallop soup and Z had a meat and cheese plate (I am sorry Sala - truly sorry.  I never said I was a professionally foodie ok?  Stop judging! Ok .... I'm better now.)

I had truffled white risotto with Jerusalem artichokes, sweet shrimp, and blue swimmer crab topped with a crisp tiger prawn.  It did not suck.   Though a fairly small dish, the risotto made it hearty and I finished and was neither stuffed nor hungry - perfectly prepared for dessert :).

Hubs ordered roast sea bass fillet with sweet shrimp, fennel, tomato, saffron and spinach orzo.  He thought it was great but I found it a bit fishy for my taste.  Then again, I'm one of those people who likes her fish to taste either like cocktail sauce or wasabi so maybe I'm not the best judge. 

And now for my favorite part and I'll go ahead and say I'm a bit biased here because I LOVE rhubarb.  I don't know many people who have even had rhubarb outside of my family but my mom used to make this wonderful rhubarb cake.  I'd ask for it all the time but rhubarb can be hard to find in the states.  I've NEVER seen it on a dessert menu but Sala had a dessert called "All About Rhubard" and all I can say is ....I think it changed my life.  It was SO SO SO good.  I'm not a huge dessert person both for health and just a general preference for salt vs. sweet but this was spectacular.  It was a rhubarb flavored crème brûlée, rhubarb sorbet and a warm pecan rhubarb crumble - that last one was like a mini-cobbler and it was so good, I almost wept. 

And here we are .... on our way to fat and happy

Makati Shangri La(AHHHHHH)

The Shangri La in Makati is a 5 Star luxury hotel in the heart of Makati (Manila's financial district).  It is also where we have a health club membership.  If we're feeling fed up with the traffic and need a release?  We go to the Shang.  Exhausted and could use some down time?  Da Shang.  Internet connection letting us down at our own hotel??  Shang to the rescue!  I don't think, after walking in the first time, I could have ever opted for an alternative.  It even smells lovely.  

It has everything you'd expect of a hotel of its caliber.  Beautiful pool, elegant high tea, and two of the best restaurants in town.  I love going there on the weekends and spending an entire morning/early afternoon.  Start in the gym, work hard, spend some time in the steam room (equipped with hot/cold whirlpools and wet/dry saunas), change into the swimsuit and relax by the pool with a beer and some good food. Tough life. 

I haven't tried them yet but Z swears the trainers are the best stretchy outers ever.  Apparently they'll bend you right to the point where you can't take it anymore and leave ya feeling like gumby.  

Anyway, here are some recent highlights of time spent at the Shangri La:

 

Coolest part about tea at the Shang?  There's an hourglass to time how long to let your tea steep.  When the sand runs out, time to enjoy.  Classy shit right?  I totally fit in.

No high tea would be complete without a string (and flute) band in lovely dresses...

....who kept playing on their way to break.

Some of the best poolside food I've ever had was served at the Shang.  That's a chicken sandwich on ciabatta bread (with a San Mig light in a glass of course).

This day did not suck.

They say it will be done Friday

...but I have some doubts.  We went by our apartment this past Sunday and found it in the following state:

Fingers crossed this country has the most efficient labor workforce in all the world!

Opposite Day

Here's the thing. Do NOT ask yes or no questions in the Philippines. It will get you nowhere. In fact, if you could channel your inner child and just pretend to be playing "opposite day" every day, that would be for the best. "Egg white omelet with no cheese and very little oil" OBVIOUSLY means "Gimme the whole egg and nothing but the egg, extra cheese and lay that grease on super thick!" In case you didn't know, now ya know.

I guess that's not the best yes/no example but surely you get my drift. If given the opportunity, and sometimes when it is DIRE that someone be honest as opposed to just aiming to please, the Filipino folks will almost always default to "yes" (or whatever it is that they think you want to hear). For instance, never say, "Is this water filtered?" Silly human! Silly silly American fool. You must state explicitly and perhaps in a written format, "I would like filtered water only." In fact, you're better off just asking for a bottle of water and calling it a day. Chances are, if you ask for filtered water, you may very well get a tall glass of filtered water but those ice cubes floating harmlessly about in your pretty little glass? NOT FILTERED ICE CUBBIES (or is that CUBIES? if I'm going to make up a word, I should at least take an honest stab at the right way to spell it)! So just forget. Assume the worst, realize you're not being insulting by asking specifically and then reconfirming...again...and again.

The taxi drivers here are pretty nice but a head nod indicating they are familiar with the area or the address you've provided is NOT enough my fair complected friend. It's an interesting dilemma. Why bother even taking a cab if you're the one who has to figure out, turn by turn, how to get there? I have two damn cars but sometimes going 4 blocks in them and trying to find parking isn't worth the hassle so dammit, I am cabbin it. There's no doubt in my mind that $2 is a decent investment when it eliminates my having to deal with the ridiculous lack of traffic enforcement in this town. But anyway, what was my point? Oh - there is nothing more disconcerting then getting in a cab, explaining where you're going, having the cabbie nod in understanding, and then getting to the moment of truth, the big turn of all turns and the cabbie turns around and says, "Right or left ma'am?" Well how the bloody hell should I know? You stopped following my cute little googles maps direction 5 turns ago and now we're stuck between a shanty town and a hard place. Thanks. So, I just smile and say, "yes". Let him figure it out!

So I guess it's either this:

Or this:

(That's the "minute burger", by the way. I'm guessing there's nothing minute or very burger like about it at all.)

[Here's where I offer my apologies to our country hosts. I am sorry that I am a whiny little American and I hope that my posts do not offend anyone who hails from this wonderful country. I like it here...I really do. I much prefer it to SEVERAL alternatives and I am looking forward to getting to know the Philippines. I PROMISE I will write an equal number of rave reviews...just give me time. I am on my third sinus infection and my third week of living in a dungeon. It's not your fault. I'm not being a very good neighbor or guest. Can we blame my dog or husband somehow?? Sorry Cassie/Husbear...it's a small price to pay for all the love I give right?? RIGHT?!?!]