You're Really Photogenic aka You're Not That Good Looking in Real Life

Yet another demonstration that 1. my noggin' works in mysterious ways and 2. there are people out there whose noggins (work with me here) are even more messed up. 

So, someone delivered what I thought was a really nice compliment the other day:  "Those pictures from the other night were great.  You are really photogenic!" Awwww, blush blush...."Thanks," I said.  

Jump to the following day during a long stare into an unflattering mirror.  I do my best (and worst) thinking in the bathroom.  And no, you stinky boys, not on the toit-ey....while getting ready.  Neanderthals!  This particular instance of deep thought was definitely leaning toward the "worst" category....cause here is the ridiculous theory that entered my mind:   "I wonder if this person saying I was photogenic means that I'm really not that good looking in real life."  WHAT?!?!  I immediately wanted to unthink it but....too late...there it was.  Poor girl - she didn't even know that when she delivered a heartfelt compliment that it would later be torn apart by my inner insecure fairy.  Hmmm...need a different word.  Fairies seem like they'd be confident all the time, no?  

Anyhoo - there it is folks.  Some stupid shit that only a woman would dare to think.  I mean, there is not a snowball's chance in Arizona that a similar thought has crossed a dude's mind while contemplating a COMPLIMENT....a COMPLIMENT!!!  What is wrong with me/us/women?  

Or is it just me? 

Nope - cause take a gander at exhibit A:  What does photogenic really mean?

and Exhibit B:  You are SO photogenic

Hopefully, those are the least educated discussions on the topic.  I don't even dare quote some of these people.  Just read for yourself and feel utter shame for the human race but know that green really brings out the color in your eyes and you take a really good picture.  :)

Channeling Tom Selleck - Distraction from Syria, Part 2

I'm not saying we shouldn't read the news.  I'm simply offering a break from dreariness of it all.  So, in the spirit of giving back to my fellow Americans, here's a little piece of my distorted mind that I hope will make you smile.   Happy Friday!  Happy Thursday night if you're on the other side of the world!
 -----------------------
(UPDATE:  After re-reading this, I feel compelled to offer a quick caveat.  Just because someone appears on this list, does NOT mean I find them dreamy.  Some people just fit the mold so perfectly, they couldn't be overlooked. K...I feel better now.)

The other day, Z wore a shirt unbuttoned just so to reveal a patch of burly man chest hairs.  He will HATE that I used the word "burly" there. In fact, he might hate that I brought up his chest hairs in a public forum at all.  But who cares!?

I always giggle and say something like, "What's up Tom?" when he does this but secretly, I think it's pretty sexy.  Men SHOULD have chest hair and I absolutely HATE IT when they shave but that, my friends, is a story for another post.  You guys (er...mostly gals, I suppose) know what I'm getting to here don't you?  Who is the king of chest hair?  That's right...Tom Freakin' Selleck! He's also the king of mustaches but, again, story for another post.

So my handsome husband and Tom Selleck got me thinkin' - who else in our wide world is unafraid of chest hair exposure (aka man cleavage).  Down the rabbit hole I go......to bring you "The Not So Definitive List of People You Might Know Who Often (or Even Occasionally) Show The World Their PG-rated Short and Curlies".  OMG - I KILL me!

I find Simon Cowell to be a total DB but he is a frequent chest-hair-revealer so, on the list he goes.

Jude-mutha-grubbin-Law

It's rumored that Tom Jones' chest hair is actually insured...to the tune of 7 MILLION big ones!

Holy shit!  I just had me a gibgasm!  What a hunka man he was/is!  Nom nom nom nom nom

And in other news....

Because surely a wet suit/vest outfit needs to be unzipped....down to there.

And of course, the one and only...TOM SELLECK.  Ignoring the fact that he's advertising girly cigarettes, is that not the best photo of him ever?  Look at those eyes!  The dimples!  The chesticles!  Burly.Man.Hunk. 

Hey you! Delicate flower! Yeah, you should really park over there...

I find the singling out of female drivers especially funny in a place where anything goes when you're behind the wheel.  I am not sure whether this is supposed to be a reward for taking our chances on the street or punishment for our perceived driving inabilities.  It's either, "Sorry you had to go through that, please feel free to park here," or "Jesus look out!  Please don't park by the menfolk.  We don't want you girlies denting up the car next to ya." 

I will say that, of the crazy drivers on Manila streets, the women are the LEAST of our problem.  If there's a blinker engaged or a full stop at a stop sign (or hell, stop LIGHT), I will often look over and see a woman behind the wheel.  

At any rate, it's pretty damn funny that they'd go to the trouble of painting a sign.  You can't tell by the picture but this is a whole row reserved for females .... right next to the garage entrance.  

Oooooh - I just had a thought though.  What if they started doing this at clubs or restaurants but instead of just "parking for females" it became "parking for females in high heels"?  OMG - I might actually get to wear those fancy shoes I'm always dreaming about. 

SURVEY TIME AGAIN - This shit just got real. Real ugly, that is.

I am shamelessly reposting this from my facebook to here even though the only people that will probably read it, already have....on facebook. 

Here's the link that inspired this particular rant.  It's not so much the article but some of the schmos that commented.  Even though a lot of them are right, it doesn't diminish my desire to smack them about the face with a soggy banana.

Women in Combat - Huff post article

"I don't usually do this but today, I can't help it. To be honest, I don't know how to feel. My instinct is to lash out in defense of equal rights (much as I lashed out at my husband when he said this was nonsense last night). First, I'm sorry to him for getting so immediately angry. There's something about this argument that is so distasteful - I can't quite put my finger on it. I *think* what I believe is this: there are situations where a woman's presence in a special forces situation could be hugely beneficial and I think said woman should be afforded the same type of training so that she is prepared to face the same dangers. That said, I also think that if a female is to hold the same exact position as Navy Seal or Army Ranger, she MUST be able to adhere to the same physical standards - standards that are currently (for most women) impossible to uphold due to our physical makeup. 

So, I'm conflicted. I get the counterargument to this decision and I agree with a lot of it. BUT and it's a big BUT, I completely disagree with the vitriol behind a lot of the comments people are leaving in response to this decision. War is a disgusting, dangerous and divisive endeavor - and one that women have been a part of in some form or fashion throughout history. For some to claim that we are living in some la-la land where only men are disfigured or killed in battle is ludicrous. Look at how many women have fought and died for our country in the last 10 years. There should be thoughtful consideration when making these decisions and any acceptance of ANYONE into a special forces unit should be something that is dealt with on a case by case basis and if that person does not qualify, they're out.

The debate will rage on and I, no doubt, will be one of the many who waffle. When it comes to allowing women on the front lines however, my vote is 100% yes. Just because we have periods or frequent UTIs doesn't mean we can't protect our country - in fact, I'd argue that all the shit we go through as women makes us stronger in a lot of ways. I'm not so off the reservation that I don't realize that our emotional makeup can also be significantly different than a man's but not every woman is built of the same stuff. There are men who are clearly not cut out for combat either but that doesn't mean we should sideline them as a rule. The special forces issue will continue to be just that...an issue.

All this little girl can do is speak from experience and the only experience I have that is similar is when I applied for several police departments. The only one that even came close to being challenging physically was the Austin Police Dept. I understand that they've changed the testing to "accommodate" female recruits but I can happily inform you that when I tested, I completed the only physical test they offered - and I did so faster than 80% of the other recruits. That was just one test though and I'm sure that I couldn't have faced and overcome every challenge that my male colleagues would have handled with relative ease. But there are things I/We do better...physically and emotionally so I think there's a need for inclusion....I just can't figure out how it would work.

So here I am - taking no real stance. I'd be a horrible president. I'd kinda like people to just stop saying such mean shit about women though - is that too much to ask??"

NOW - What do you ladies and germs think?  Gimme all ya got...I can take it.  Well, I might cry but I will get really angry and throw a barbell at you first.

Trying to not take different cultural norms personally

I fancy myself an extremely tolerant person.  Although I've been told I don't always appear approachable, I think most people would say that once a conversation begins, I welcome most any opinion on any topic.  With a few notable exceptions, I'll even let you get out your whole thought before I interrupt with a counter point.  All of this falls apart when I am talking to my husband but that's beside the point. 

In some cases though, I'm never given the opportunity to understand.  I am instantly judged or deemed part of a certain set of people simply because of the way I dress or my blonde hair or the fact that I have a dog -- whatever it is, I can feel it when it's happening.  Perhaps it's the Texan in me that tends to wander around with a goofy smile on my face.  Maybe I'm just setting myself up for disappointment.  Then again, I feel like I balance that openness with a measured amount of skepticism and wariness simply because I'm female and well, not a complete horseface.  You only have to get in trouble being "too nice" once before you realize that there are people out there who will take advantage of a cute girl with a charming disposition.  So, dang...what is my point??  I think I've had too much coffee already this morning. 

Maybe I'm killing all this time talking about myself because part of me knows what I'm about to comment on may not be the most P.C. thing on the planet so I'll try to get right to the point.

I know there is a code of ethics that certain religions must follow when it comes to conversing with the opposite sex, especially if said person of the opposite sex appears to be under 80 years old.  The thing is, I think there has to be a way to not engage in conversation yet still remain polite.  Maybe I'm painting with a broad brush here but it sure seems like the vast majority of uber religious Muslim men in this hotel would rather have their fingernails ripped out than hold the door as I'm running in behind them or say "hello" or "good morning". 

Without getting too terribly mired in religious discussions here, it seems to me like laying down such strict rules about socializing is akin to living in a small town and being raised by strict parents.  What has happened to almost every sheltered teenager who is raised in this fashion??  They do EXACTLY the opposite of what they're told and they do it on a scale and level that ends up being far more shocking than the original rules would have implied. 

I suppose I should just feel blessed to have been raised in a country and by parents who allowed me to learn in my own way -- who established some boundaries but trusted that I would learn from my mistakes.  I won't stop saying good morning or smiling at strangers, no matter how many don't smile back.  I won't feel ashamed to walk my dog when I know some people find them filthy and their disgust with my sweet little Cassie is transferred to the person walking the dog.  I also will try my damnedest not to be so hurt or irritated when a grown ass man lets a door shut in my face while my hands are full and I can't reach the door.  Nope - I will take the higher ground.  'Cept I might just shout "Thank you and Good morning!" as he's walking away....that I might do. 

Colonel Littleton

Colonel Littleton, Purveyor of Fine Accouterments in the Americana Tradition

Col. Littleton storefront in Nashville. 

Dresser caddy made of American Bridle leather

Col. Littleton will engrave just about any of their products

Foxfire Stag bone knife, engraved with hubby's initials and the year

Trying on the Colonel's wares in Nashville.  He'll kill me for posting this but I couldn't resist!

Below is the email I received prior to my Colonel Littleton package arriving.  I am always especially grateful when I run into customer service of this caliber.  This was an unsolicited email from the store manager.  I hadn't requested the status of my package, nothing was delayed, there was absolutely no reason for the company to contact me which is exactly why it's so great that they did!  Their stuff isn't cheap but it's handmade and comes with a lifetime guarantee so, for me, it's worth the money.  Their focus on customer satisfaction only serves to sweeten the deal!

Man soap

 Elizabeth W Hand Wash - Vetiver

We were at a friend's house not too long ago when I excused myself to use the ladies'.  Like a good little girl, I washed my paws.  When I lathered up, I knew immediately that my husband would DIE for this hand soap.  It sounds silly, I know, but it was truly MAN SOAP.  There's no other way to explain it.  It was a mix of camping and aftershave with a touch of musk.  I dried my hands and walked quietly out of the bathroom with my new secret tucked away.  I tried to limit any flamboyant hand movements in fear that the smell would waft across the room.  I wanted to see what his reaction would be when he used the stuff.   I knew full well when he would positively rave about that soap.  I was right.  It wasn't 15 minutes later that he returned from the bathroom gushing about their lathery goodness.  Do people really gush, btw?  Seems an odd thing to do upon returning from the bathroom but I digress.

Of course he asked where they picked up this perfect of all perfect soaps and, with knowing smiles, they said they had first used it in a swank hotel and have since been purchasing it online.  I made a vow to remember the brand thinking I might one day order some for the hubs (we'll call him Zach from here on out). ;)

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I don't particularly care for the soap.  To me, it's full on dude.  I don't mind the smell; it's rather pleasant.  I just don't want to be the one from which the smell is emanating.  I suppose it could be considered unisex but even the description on the website lends itself to the masculine consumer...."earthy, woody" I believe they say (as if one does not somehow imply the other).

Snarkiness aside, I do think this would make a good gift for the men in your lives.  If you're going to put it in the guest bathroom however, I might suggest putting one of their sweeter scents alongside the Vetiver.  They have a plethora of choices:  Tuberose, Sweet Tea, Magnolia, etc. and you can check them all out at the link attached below.

Elizabet W - Hand Wash Product Line