You're Really Photogenic aka You're Not That Good Looking in Real Life

Yet another demonstration that 1. my noggin' works in mysterious ways and 2. there are people out there whose noggins (work with me here) are even more messed up. 

So, someone delivered what I thought was a really nice compliment the other day:  "Those pictures from the other night were great.  You are really photogenic!" Awwww, blush blush...."Thanks," I said.  

Jump to the following day during a long stare into an unflattering mirror.  I do my best (and worst) thinking in the bathroom.  And no, you stinky boys, not on the toit-ey....while getting ready.  Neanderthals!  This particular instance of deep thought was definitely leaning toward the "worst" category....cause here is the ridiculous theory that entered my mind:   "I wonder if this person saying I was photogenic means that I'm really not that good looking in real life."  WHAT?!?!  I immediately wanted to unthink it but....too late...there it was.  Poor girl - she didn't even know that when she delivered a heartfelt compliment that it would later be torn apart by my inner insecure fairy.  Hmmm...need a different word.  Fairies seem like they'd be confident all the time, no?  

Anyhoo - there it is folks.  Some stupid shit that only a woman would dare to think.  I mean, there is not a snowball's chance in Arizona that a similar thought has crossed a dude's mind while contemplating a COMPLIMENT....a COMPLIMENT!!!  What is wrong with me/us/women?  

Or is it just me? 

Nope - cause take a gander at exhibit A:  What does photogenic really mean?

and Exhibit B:  You are SO photogenic

Hopefully, those are the least educated discussions on the topic.  I don't even dare quote some of these people.  Just read for yourself and feel utter shame for the human race but know that green really brings out the color in your eyes and you take a really good picture.  :)

Indulgence of the day....IS MINE!!!!!

Zach was very proud of his wrapping job.  Note the curly ribbons...

Woot woot!  Look at those pretty blue boxes!  In my opinion, it's a better shade of blue than Tiffanys.  It's La Mer beeotches!

Look at that, I am flushed and dewy with joy! LOL  And Zach is wondering why he spent so much money on soap suds and lip balm.  BUT WE LOOOOOVE HIM FOR IT!!!!

That's a $5 kiss right there. Zach says there must be unicorn horn dust in there for it to be so expensive.  At first I was upset at the thought of ground up Unicorn horn on my lips...then he told me not to worry, that their horns grow back.  You know, like a lizard.  ;-)

Bwah ahahaha

Super bwah ahahaha.  Mine mine mine!!!  I have clearly crossed the border into crazy town but that's ok, I would take up residence in looneyville for this kind of indulgence anytime.

 

Salon Effects by Sally Hansen

 These are SO SO fun!  I have used Sally Hansen's Salon Effects nail stickers a couple of times and I really like the product.  It took me a couple of practice runs to get the hang of it but once you come up with a system, these really are pretty easy to put on.  It takes a little longer than just painting your nails but if you count drying time for wet paint, it's about the same or a little faster.
After a day or two, I usually go back and put a layer of top coat on the nails so they'll last extra long.  It's right what they say, they pretty much last 10 days. 

The sparkly ones I wore on our motorcycle trip (pictured above) would have lasted a month I think if I hadn't taken them off.  Some of the colors (solids) are easier to get off than patterns.  The glitter took FOREVER to remove so keep that in mind.  If you're hoping to do any quick changes with their patterned products, think again. 

You should also note that, in addition to the funky patterns, most of their colors so far are SUPER BRIGHT.  Even their 'red' was a little fluorescent.  In short, these aren't terribly work appropriate if you work in a professional "buttoned up" environment.  You could probably get away with some of these shades in the summer but I hope they expand the colors soon.  If you don't work in an office, though...have a blast with these!  They're a lot of fun!

There are step by step instructions in the package but here's a couple of tips I picked up while applying:

• Plan the best fit before you remove the stickers.  i.e. figure out which end of the sticker matches up with your cuticle line. 
• Make sure and remove both the white bottom layer and the clear top layer before cutting the strip to fit your nail. 
• If your nails are super short, use a small pair of scissors to cut down excess before you file down the sticker.  
• Use the file they provide when filing down the sticker.  It's softer than a regular nail file and you will not tear the sticker as easily.

You're high!

No seriously, how do you GET that high?!?!

I want a poofy ponytail!  There, I said it.

It infuriates me that I can't do this!!!

I think it must be due, in part (no pun intended), to the fact that I HATE teasing my hair.  As in, I never do it...and when I try, I don't think I'm doing it right.  Anyone else have this problem or have any tips?  I know I'll be wearing my hair in a ponytail A LOT soon so I'd like to try something new.

Don't give them any lip!

...or chin...or cheek...

I have no idea why this bothers me as much as it does but every time I go to get my eyebrows waxed (which, btw has become standard practice for me ever since I saw my wedding photos...yikes), the lady always asks, "You want mustache wax too?"  Now look, I'll admit it took me a long time to notice my eyebrows were a wee unruly.  I should have gotten a clue when my best gal pal ASKED if she could pluck them in college but I just thought she wanted to have a little makeover night.  So anyway, it's entirely possible that I'm overlooking some minor excess lip hair but I have polled the most important judge of such things and he says I don't have a manstache.  If the hubby is ok with my lip fuzz then why can't the nail salon people just let me be!?!? 

I'm sure some will say it's their job to upsell but I have actually sensed a judgmental edge to their little voices when I've said no.  At minimum, I get a "You sure??"  Am I the only one with this problem?  Does anyone else get the 'tsk tsk' treatment when they decline lip/chin waxes?  Just curious...

I have made the executive decision that no hairs will be waxed from my face unless they bear a color other than blond i.e. if you can see it from a 2 feet out, it's going the way of the Dodo bird.

On a related note, has anyone seen Just Go With It?  The eyebrow lady in that movie...freakin' hilarious!!

Indulgence of the day!

For just $45.00 dollars, you too can own .32 ounces of La Mer lip balm.
Before you think you're reading that wrong, that's POINT THREE TWO ounces...NOT, repeat NOT 32 ounces.  Who are you kidding if you think you'd get 32 ounces of anything made by La Mer for $45.00 dollars.  Hell, if I were following their business model, I would charge you for even thinking about buying a La Mer product. 

Now that I'm done ranting I will admit that I want this.  I am not sure if I want it because it's decadent or because it's the only La Mer product under $50.00.  Either way, I suspect I won't be running to a Saks any time soon to pick some up. But who's to say you can't "want" something right?!?!?

 

On the flip side, I will TOTALLY be picking up (or ordering) Victoria's Secret's  Pro Smooth Lip FX scrub and balm.  It's a third of the price and it comes in this cute little tower.  What more could you ask for??  I've read some reviews that said the scrub actually tastes like sugar!  Where do I sign?? 

Dedicating this post to my bestie in support of her addiction to all things lip balm.  Hmmm...on second thought, it's a dual dedication to bestie and sis in law.  Both are chapstick addicts.  Enjoy ladies!

Screw the 80s, I can wear my side braid any time!

Lookah here!! You can't TELL (snap, snap, snap) me what to do and I don't care if this hairstyle brings back memories of scrunchies and fingerless gloves,  I'm working it this summer!  It's good for long hair on hot days.  I get so tired of the same old ponytail and really, I don't think a ponytail is very flattering on me anyway.  I wear braids a lot, mostly on days I'm riding the motorcycle but sometimes, shudder, I even rock the pigtail braids and a hat.  I'm officially in the 30 to 35 range these days and I'm very aware this hairstyle would be on the page right before my age group in the "dress and act your age" portions of any given magazine but I don't care. 

Just a quick note, if you're planning on wearing this braid, be brave and leave it messy.  The one time this goes wrong is when it's too 'put together'.  It should be loose and flowy.  Go ahead...you know you wanna....

I must really love you people if I'd post a pic where my forehead was this shiny!

Hey look, it's my doppleganger (kidding)! But her hair does look fabulous, no?

Brown as a Berry!!

Victoria's Secret Beach Sexy Instant Self Tan Lotion with Tint

This is the best self tanner I've run across in a long time.  It's so good that I ordered several in advance of our extended desert "vacation".  Unfortunately, I can't find it on the Victoria's Secret website at the moment.  It's available on Amazon and I'm sure you can find it elsewhere but the fact that it is now missing from the V.S. site is a wee concerning.  I have a note out to the company to see if it's been discontinued.  If this is the case, please disregard my suggestion to find it elsewhere as I will have beaten you to it!

Anyway, enough about my greediness.  Back to the product.  It's easy to apply (because it has a tint) and it definitely has the immediate gratification element as you'll look sun-kissed after applying without having to wait several hours.  It will leave you with a slight self tanner odoriferousness after several hours but it's very slight and nothing compared to some other products out there.   It will also stain your clothes and bed linens so be careful after applying.  Let it dry and don't wear anything white for goodness sake!  I have applied this before going pool side but unless you don't sweat or don't care about your beach towel, I would be careful with this.  I've gotten up off a lounge to see the outline of my brown butt on my pretty little white towel.  Not charming at all!