Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Amoeba, Youmoeba, Wemoeba

Rotgut.  We've all been there.  You feel fine then all of the sudden, a rumble, a cramp, and a sprint to the nearest er....relief station.  Go ahead and judge me and spout "ews" and "icks" until you're blue in the face, I don't care.  Shit happens and in the case of rotgut (more of a pet name than a diagnosis) REALLY happens. 

So how many of you right now are thinking it's me that has been afflicted???  If you're reading this and you have known me more than five minutes, then you almost certainly guessed that my knees are bruised from praying to the porcelain gods but you're wrong!  In this particular instance, I have dodged this parasitic bullet but it has laid waste to my typically burly man hunk of a husband.  Poor dear.  The fact that I'm writing this post should say a lot about how bad he's feeling -- I'm not even real scared about how mad he'll be when he's found out I told the world about his .... affliction. 
                                                                poor poor teddy :(

Now, to be clear, the culprit has yet to be identified but if it were up to Nurse Lindsey, I'd offer a diagnosis of 'too much, too soon' but I don't think you can find that anywhere in the annals of modern medicine (pun so intended, it hurts).  So it's either exhaustion that has weakened his immune system or some sort of bacteria, virus, or gasp! wheeze! shake! moan!....AMOEBAS.  That's right people, amoebas aren't just harmless little single celled life forms characterized by irregular blobby shapes.  NO NO....they're much much more than that. 

Here is where I was going to insert a fun fact or two or perhaps a picture of amoebic dysentery on the cellular level buuuuut, how lame would that have been?!?!  Instead, checky out what I found...

Though technically the cause of unheard of amounts of pain and suffering, who said Amoebiasis doesn't have a sense of humor.  Honestly, I've no idea what that has to do with anything I'm writing about here but I thought it was hilarious and with a sick significant other and a lazy dog, well, I'm pretty booooored. know what's fun about attempting self diagnosis by way of the world wide interwebs?  You find gems like this:

In case you're unsure what you're seeing, that's Amoebic Dysentery.....the band.  It's worth checking out the article about them on if for no other reason than to eyeball the tags associated with the pics/article including but certainly not limited to:  "shitgrind, goregrind,  and noisecore"  ...whatever the hell all that means.  If you are feeling like something random to distract you from whatever productive things you might otherwise have engaged in, please, click here ----->Amoebic Dysentery

I guess I'm not ready to blame Manila for this first round of (S)ickness that has invaded our lives but I'll be keeping an eye on you, oh most populated city in southeast asia.  If this turns out to be your fault, I will have my vengeance....even if it comes in the form of canned everything and spending obscene amounts of money ordering costco food stuffs online.  Mark my words.....


Callander Stuart said...

OH boy!! I hope he feels better soon!!!

Lindsey said...

Thanks Callie! He's all better now!