Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Lost in Translation, Part Three - Water Deliver Edition

Welcome to another installment of Lost in Translation.  Today on "Lost", we find the author of Simple Pleasures not enjoying ANY simple pleasures whatsoever.  Meanwhile, somewhere in Manila, a crowd of 17 year old delivery boys are laughing their fool heads off.  And these....are the days...of my life.....

Saturday is a typical water delivery day for us.  We call or text sometime during the week and they show up Saturday (after lunch) with our water.  I did that.  They confirmed.  I thought we were all good.  Saturday came and went without any sign of our water refills.   (NOTE: You will understand why I italicized "after lunch" later.)

Late Saturday evening

Me: Where is my water? 

Water peeps: Mam we currently out of stock of wilkins no delivery from plant.  Hopefully by monday or tuesday.  we have stock. thanks. 

Me: Out of all water or do you have other brands? 

Water peeps: Yes we do

Me: So, NO water? Or just no wilkins?

Water peeps: Yes mam no water. Im sorry, by monday we have a delivery of of viva coming. 

Me: What is the price? 

Water peeps: 135. 

Me: Ok, please deliver 7 bottles of viva asap. 

Water peeps: Ok. 

Me: Um...when will you deliver? 

Water peeps: After lunch. 

It was at this point that I started to have visions of the "two weeks" scenes from Money Pit...

 Monday Afternoon (enter tropical storm Maring)

Me: Where is my water? 

Me: It was supposed to be here after lunch today? This is the customer at 123 IAmGoingCrazy Lane.

Water Peeps:  Sori mam.  Our office closed 2day becoz of flooding.  Our staff didnt come in due to no available transportation.

Me: Tomorrow then? 

Water Peeps: Ok

Me: U should let customers know.  I could have gotten some at grocery just now but didn't because I thought it would be delivered. 

Water peeps: Mam our house are flooded.  I hope u understand why i cant let you know that no delivery today.  I live at xxxxx.  No electricity, my celphne are lowbat. 

Great - now I feel like an asshole.  Except, WTF?!?!  I am just trying to get water.  Not like it's important for survival or sustenance or anything.  I should really just keep my trap shut and start boiling water from the tap right?  Oh hells no...

Tuesday Morning

Me: I understand its difficult but I was just trying to figure out when to expect delivery.  Plz don't take it personally. 

For the record, I didn't even bother to ask about delivery on Tuesday.  The rain here has been constant the last couple of days.  Monday and Tuesday were total washouts and I'm sure Wednesday would have been also were it not already a holiday.  At this point, I was just hoping they'd decide to work the holiday....and that the rain would effing let up.

Wednesday Afternoon

Me: Is there any chance we will get water soon? 
1228 Today

Water peeps: Pls wait mam our delivery was in 123 IAmGoingCrazy Lane already

Me: Wait until when?  U delivered water today?!?  When will we get ours?

Water peeps: Yes 2day mam this afternoon.  After lunch. 

Me: Ok great! Thank you! 1232 (btw - LOOK AT ME!!!  I am still trying to be gracious!)

Me: Is the water still coming?
---627 pm today

And I know this will shock you but after two hours of waiting for a response.....nada.  Good thing we're not thirsty.  Strike that.  Good thing we have wine and beer.  Plenty of water in those two beverage staples.

The moral of this story is, dammit I DO care and I DO sympathize but that doesn't mean I don't want some tiny wittle bittle shred of customer service.  Just TELL me you're not coming.  I could have bought a GD case of water from the S&R and the problem would have been solved.  I would have happily (ok, that might be a stretch) waited until after you got your shit together and the storm passed for my water because I would have had a water cushion.  Ha - that sounds funny no?  A water cushion.  You didn't know we were living in Wet 'n Wild did ya? 

For what it's worth to anyone who might be confused or gives a damn, it's not as easy as you might think to find a replacement water delivery "company".  And I now know that "company" is not at all an accurate way of describing a kid on a bike, peddling from god knows where to deliver our water.  But you get the idea.  It's just not that easy to find someone to get off their poop shoots and deliver water on the spot.  So here I sit with a 1/2 a bottle of water, rain that is sputtering out, and patience so fried you could serve it up at the Texas State Fair.  This is neither a tragedy or a crisis.  If push comes to shove, I'll just send Z down to the market to pick some up.  But that is....BESIDE THE DAMN POINT!

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