Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Probably the weirdest thing I've ever purchased

I just spent $0.99 on silence.  I shit you not.  I spent a dollar for 10 seconds of silence on iTunes.  This probably begs several questions starting with "Why?" and perhaps ending with, "Are you drunk?".   Well, smart ass(es), I have perfectly logical answers for both of those questions but first let me introduce Brett Black and his album, "Silent Tracks of Useful Lengths".  

For just $0.99 a piece, you can buy anywhere from 5 seconds to 5 minutes of silence.  Let's not quibble about the fact that you're paying just as much for 5 minutes as 5 seconds ok?  If you're all hung up on that, maybe you should spend YOUR dollar on "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"?  

Here's the blurb from the Album Notes: 

Sssh... don't disturb the silence... Just like it says, this debut album by Brett Black is literally completely silent! It's a series of silent tracks ranging from 5 seconds to 5 minutes. Inspired by nothing much and the rather quiet room the tracks were recorded in, the album was produced over a mammoth recording session of about an hour and a half.

Of particular note is the track "Silence - 1 minute (Stadium Remix)" - an arrangement that was carefully reconstructed to sound best played in football grounds when they want one minute's silence. "Silence - 5 minutes" is the battleship piece of the album - written about the parents in the world who yearn for a spell of peace and quiet.

Lastly, the album was mixed so that those who like to play their music at full volume can really let their hair down!


But here's the thing.  This guy isn't some guru of yoga, tantric sex, or the peaceful hereafter...he's just a guy that wanted to insert some dead air into a playlist and thought, hey...maybe other jokers need dead air too.  Which brings me to my justification for purchasing 10 seconds of silence . I am getting geared up for Halloween and one of the rooms is an operating room....gone bad.  I have a bazillion cool sound effects and creepy songs but it totally kills the mood if they're just played back to back.  I mean...who goes from blood spilling to a sinister ghost laugh in a quarter second?  No one, that's who!!  So I am happily inserting 10 seconds between sound effects and who knows, if I'm feeling pretty flush, I might even buy the 5 and 20 seconds of silence.  Shhhhhhhhhh...

 You can buy Brett's Sounds of Silence here or just get it on iTunes like I did. 

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