Wanna feel something?

No...you dirty minded children, not literally.  I meant, do you want to feel something in your heart? 

Because if you have a couple hours to spare and don't mind letting go of some of your belief systems....just for a little bit..... have I got a movie for you!

The Broken Circle Breakdown

Seen it? No?  Well, get out there and watch it.  I KNOW that it will not be for everybody but it should be....it's that beautiful.   Then again, maybe it's just me.  Maybe it's my bipolar, ADD, belief system and life experiences that made this such a moving experience...but I doubt it.  I think it fits a lot of our molds...at least, a lot of the people I've known over the years. 

There is nothing to compare it to though perhaps it's a Steel Magnolias meets Girl with the Dragon Tattoo meets Meet Joe Black meets O' Brother Where Art Thou.  That was too many "meets" I know - so sue me.  It's a Belgian film so be ready for subtitles but the music?  You don't need subtitles for that - the music is unbelievable.  Describing it as strictly bluegrass does NOT give it justice.  Please for the love of all things holy (no pun intended) do NOT let the words "bluegrass" and "gospel" keep you from watching this movie or listening to the soundtrack. When they do "If I needed you" together on stage...it's almost too much for a heart to bear.  

I don't want to spoil the movie...or the soundtrack by giving away too much.  I do want to say that a lot of the music and some of the emotions remind me of the people I love and of my childhood.  It would take too long and is perhaps to personal (even for me) to go into the context behind that.  Just take my word for it.  I will warn you that, no matter what you feel about religion or politics (there's a smattering of both in here), this movie will stir those emotions in you.  I *think* it's best viewed with an open heart and a willingness to understand that everyone approaches tragedy and loss differently....and that we should let them.  But that's just little ol' me....

It's not a perfect movie.  It tends to be a little disjointed and some might find it preachy (though not in the typical sense) but it's worth your time.  

Squirrels Be Like, "Manila Pedestrians Are Our Heroes"

I don't know how to write this without sounding like an intolerant fool.  All I can hope for is some modicum of understanding that I am doing my best to tell the truth and represent my DAILY experiences accurately. 

So, here goes...

It is my firm belief that the pedestrians in Manila are somehow related to squirrels.  Maybe not like brother/sister but perhaps a fourth cousin twice removed by marriage situation.

'sup?

Now, if you're an educated person, you know that, technically speaking, squirrels are rodents but that is NOT what I'm trying to say so you can just cease and desist with the scoffing and eye rolling.  I'm simply (and feebly) attempting to provide an analogy of my drive to and from work every day with the primary purpose of venting but also informing.  Ok Ok - this isn't REALLY meant to be educational...ya got me.  That's what is so wonderful about having a blog with 2.5 readers....very few people will hate me tomorrow so I can really just say what I want. 

I have a pretty soft heart when it comes to animals, as most people do.  When I was a teenager, I can vividly remember my mom picking me up from the Sunday matinee and driving me home through the quiet roads of my home town.   It was one of those rare chilly Texas afternoons when people tend toward indoor entertainment -- so there were no children at play and not many cars on the road.  This absence of traffic (both pedestrian and vehicle) led my mom to be perhaps slightly more careless than she would have normally been.  She wasn't going all Jeff Gordon on our city streets but maybe she was driving just a little bit more careless and chatting in a tad more carefree fashion.  Anyway, we both looked up and noticed a squirrel crossing the road and I swear to bejeebus, that thing looked right back at us and I had a moment where I thought, "Thank goodness, he knows he's doing something stupid and has decided to go back from whence he came (read: the other side of the damn street)."  

But you know where this is going right?  He did not go back.  He made what appeared to be a series of ill fated but also somehow thought-out (as much as a squirrel thinks things through) turns in the road before landing himself firmly under my mom's right rear tire.  THUMP!  Tails were twitching.  Brakes were screeching (too late!).  And mom was sucking air through her teeth in the most regretful way.  
 She was also begging me not to look in the rear view mirror.  Although honestly, I'm not sure what she was thinking by asking me not to look.  Was she sparing me the tragedy of seeing a rodent cute little animal fighting for its last breath or did she somehow think I would blame her for his PISS POOR DECISION MAKING?

Which brings me to the pedestrians here in Manila.  

1. Crosswalks cannot be trusted.  I get it. 
2. Cars do what they want regardless of when and where you decide to cross the street.    -- That sucks, I know.  I REALLY know.  I have more than a few times reached out and smacked a car that nearly ran over my dog while we were walking in a CROSSWALK to get to the park. 
3. You have to get to work....no matter what.  Good.For.You. 

Look at me!  I'm important...I need to hurry up and get to my outsourced data entry position where I will sit and mostly check facebook all day. 

But here's the thing, it will not help your situation to decide to cross the street and then only make it half way.   As you stand in the middle of one of the busiest streets in Metro Manila, I'm sorry to say, destiny is not on your side.  You are now stuck on the yellow lines of a road in a place where lanes do not matter.  Please do not then prescribe to the misguided notion that eye contact or arm waving (in the typical Phil fashion) will help your case. You've made your bed....helping you figure out how to un-f*ck yourself is not my problem.  You must decide, all by your lonesome, what to do next and guess what?  The WORST possible thing you can do is go all squirrel on us by deciding to do something then changing your mind 17 times.  

This happened while I was driving to work the other day.  It was gridlock but kinda fast paced gridlock, if that makes sense, and this guy tried to cross at the WRONG time.  He was stuck in between me and the car in front of me.  Initially, I tried to let him pass but HE WOULD NOT GO.  I waited for a bit and then started to move forward at which time..... AT WHICH MOTHER GRUBBING TIME.... he decides it's time to go so what happens?  I graze him with my front bumper.  

Are you shocked??!?!  No, of course not!
 
Funny thing is, I've gotten into lots of shouting matches with drivers here (mostly with mopeds and motorcycles) who have NO situational or personal-space awareness but this guy didn't even flinch.  This tells me, in his little squirrel heart, he knew he made the wrong decision.  

So there you go.  Just felt like sharing a little bit of my world with you.  

Top 20 Memorable Moments from 2013

Welcome to a new year everybody!  It's 2014 - we're in the mid-20-teens, can you believe it?  But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let's take a look back over 2013 and try to recall some of the more memorable moments (for good or ill).  If you're like me, you spend the entire first day of the new year watching either marathons of your favorite tv show or best of/worst of countdowns.  I love those shows - you either feel inspired (Malala Yousafzai) or like your life is awesome by comparison (Manti Malietau Louis Teʻo). I couldn't decide whether to focus on the good, bad, or ugly so I opted to go with "memorable" - cause that gives me the liberty to highlight just about anything.  So here we go in no particular order and not necessarily memories shared by millions....

20. The year of the tongue

Miley's tongue made so many appearances that three guys created a website called Miley Cyrus' Infinite Tongue.  Check it out - it goes on forever...literally.

19. NFL Bad Lip Reading: One of the funniest viral videos I've seen in a long time. 

      -"I found Fido.  Hey I found Fido you guys!"
      -"oooh I'm white"
      -"I brought a potion and it's gonna work great cause it's gonna make you run. And you brought your potion right?"

18. "Who am I to judge?" - Pope Francis turns out to have a conscience and the courage to use his voice.  That's not to say Catholicism (and religion in general) don't have a long way to go in terms of tolerance but hey, it's something.

17. The Boston Bombing - like I said, "memorable" does not necessarily mean "good". 

16. Iraq: The story that disappeared from the headlines.  Almost a thousand Iraqis died in December 2013.   Nearly 10000 died the past year (the most since 2008).  What was broken remains broken and the country appears permanently shattered by inter-ethnic persecution and violence.

15. YOLO, Twerk, Cray cray, Poppin tags, Selfies = I'm too old for this shit.

14. "We are the not dead" - Fascinating Gallery of soldiers before, during, and after war

13.  Woman Finds Dog During Interview After Huge Oklahoma Tornado

12.  Liar liar Lance on Fire: Lance turns out to be the DB we all thought he was.  Biggest loser in Armstrong's game of lies?  His Charity organization, Livestrong.  Commercials like this one still give me the heebs:

11. Naked Frisbee Guy: While our husbands were out on their Thai fishing trip, my friend Lorren and I decided to go on a nice peaceful walk on the beach.  When what to our wandering eyes should appear but an elderly naked Frisbee player with his fully dressed Thai female companion -- and their dog. Though the "family" saw us approach from several yards away, he never fully covered up.  He was, however, polite enough to cover his man parts when we were within a few feet....with the Frisbee. 

10.  Justin Bieber's poor judgment is not limited to late night antics.  Unfortunately for all of us, it bleeds over into his wardrobe....

Character from Mario Brothers or a hat?  You decide.

9. Snowden - what ever side you're on, this was/is big news.  There is a lighter side to this story, however, because the world's most famous whistleblower/traitor was formerly the boyfriend of this little chippy.  Hard to be Mr. Serious-holier-than-thou when your best girl uses cupcakes to cover her tee taws..... 

8.  Cassie becomes an extremely well-traveled wiener dog when her humans move to the Philippines

 

7.  I discover there exists "Asian" food that I don't like - and I'll be surrounded by it for three years:  Filipino Food.  I'm sorry to all my local Filipino friends but adding salt, garlic, or sugar to something does not necessarily make it better.  I had high hopes (despite hearing about the food ahead of time) but sadly, I have yet to experience a good Filipino meal.  Below is one of the staples of Filipino menus, Chicken Adobo (but you can also find pork, beef or seafood adobo - bleh).  Me no likey....

Chicken A-No-No

6. "Playing hide and seek with a cuttlefish sucks."  Just watch it.  Thank us later.

5. And speaking of Cray cray:  The God Particle or What the Hell is Higgs Boson?

4. Russian Meteor aka Go Go Gadget Social Media: How cool was it to see all the different videos and pictures of this asteroid raining down on Russia like a boss!?

3. Mandela brings the world together, one last time.  R.I.P 5 December 2013

 

2. The L&Z Halloween party comes to Manila - and scares the hell outta people

1. We move our whole life and our pup about a million miles away from most of our family and friends.  In May 2013, Z and I started a brand new adventure and while Manila certainly has had its ups and downs, it's always better to go through a big change like this with someone you love.  As always, one of the most important rules of life remained true in 2013 - home IS where your heart is.  My heart is spread out to many different places but my home? My home is always where Z is and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Thank goodness the feeling is mutual.  Otherwise....awkward.  

Happy 2014 everyone!  Hug the ones you love and send shout outs to those you'll have to hug later.  Much love!  Z, L, and Cassie the wunder wiener.

How time flies....

The other day, while wrapping Christmas presents and watching Sex and the City, Season 2 (for the umpteenth time), I realized something.  I am now officially
the same age as the SATC girls.  What the hell happened to the last 15 years?!  Speaking of 15 years, that's how long it has been since SATC first aired.  Can you believe it?  And after all this time, I still love to pop the DVD in (any season will do and I'll even watch the movies....but I have to be 3 cosmos in to even think about the second movie), drink a cosmo and practice "single girl behavior" whenever husbear is out of the house.  Ok - that didn't sound right.  You know what I mean.  Mud masks and toe painting...NOT pool boys. ;-)  I said I was watching SATC not The Graduate. 

(Those who find chatter about SATC childish and materialistic, you can just stop reading.  Haven't you ever heard of simple pleasures??  And there goes everyone with a penis who was reading up to this point....) 

But nothing can compare to watching SATC with your girlfriends, right?  And I have had so many fabulous experiences doing just that.  There are few other shows out there that I can think of that even come close to focusing on the importance of female friendships.  Sure, some of the life lessons were...um....maybe not for everyone but I think anyone who regularly watched the show could identify with all of the characters at one point or another.   And that was the point wasn't it?  It wasn't really about figuring out which SATC character you would be -- it was about realizing that we are all just little pieces of each other.  Everyone one of us is bitchy like Miranda sometimes or sweet like Charlotte...sexy like Samantha and totally neurotic and confused like Carrie. 

So, after 15 years of watching SATC, I thought I would share some of the life lessons I picked up from the show.  If you'll indulge me a bit, I might even share a few of my own memories that were made possible by those 4 crazy chicas.

1. Every woman has an Aidan, a Big and a Patrovksy:  Ladies, you know it's true! We don't have to talk about which one you should have ended up with...just in case it's NOT the one you're with (EEK!) but we've all had guys in our lives who fall into those categories.  Aidan: the overly available "perfect" guy whose heart you are destined to break.  Patrovksy: the "artsy" guy who is our complete opposite but who brings something mysterious and different to our otherwise banal lives. Big: the one who breaks you in two and who you allow to keep on breaking you.  Maybe your Big works out like Carrie's did but I doubt it.  We're not meant to end up with the Bigs of the world -- we're meant to look back on our time with the Bigs and thank bejeezus we finally got out.  It's cool if you're not with me on that and I know we all LOVED the romantic aspect of Carrie and Big getting together but honestly, I don't think that's how the show should have gone.  There are others too:  post it note break up guy, pot smoking comic book guy, and the list goes on and on...

2.  It hurts to hurt people and most of us fail miserably at "ripping off the band aid":  Like Carrie with Aidan, that shit should have been OH-VER way earlier in the season (thank goodness it wasn't cause my lordy did John Corbett get cuter as time went on).  We women really suck at delivering bad news sometimes but ladies, take a lesson from someone who...well...never took a lesson:  it is better to down a couple of cosmos and tell someone you don't love them, than to needlessly drag things on for months, years, lifetimes.  On the other hand, some women just need to grow the hell up and realize you can't have the hot and steamy forever.  Sometimes, loyalty, honesty, and sweetness are FAR more important than someone who "colors outside the lines."  C'mon....work with me here...someone has to remember that line.  Whewie....I still get the gibgibblies thinking about it.

3.  Friendship brings you back to center, always:  Though our lives take us on so many journeys, when you're with your friends, you are only defined by one thing....you.  You are not chained to the label of mother or wife, professional or student....you are just YOU.  I think we forget this as the years go by.  We get so wrapped up in careers, little league, and being everything to everyone that it is almost shocking when we are able to get together with our girlfriends and remember who WE are.  Isn't it like a revelation?  Especially if you're like me and it can sometimes be weeks or months in between visits or conversations with my friends -- it's as if you find yourself all over again....and you can just....exhale.  And laugh...OMG...do you ever laugh as much as you do with your girls? No. Never.

4.  Live your life:  You can try and fit into a mold and make yourself into a Charlotte or Carrie or you can just be who you are ....and ROCK IT!  Be true to yourself.  Wear stripes with polka dots, stay home when people are begging you to go out, go on vacation by yourself, love unconditionally (even if the love is aimed solely at yourself), have babies, run away from babies, adopt a dozen cats, or vow to never allow anything in your life that you'd ever potentially kill by forgetting to feed.  The world is your oyster and if you don't like oysters, eat steak....or a salad.  But, whatever you do, be good to yourself.  Get some exercise, try not to do anything that feels good too much because well....that shit is usually either illegal or unhealthy.  ;-)

And as promised, some of my favorite SATC-sponsored moments:

I Love Sex.....and the City, is what it actually said.  I love this girl and she knows it :)

What a group!  And good thing it was such a kick ass movie because the SATC sequel we were going to see wasn't all that great.  Still.....everything is more fun with the girls!

SATC after party in Charlotte, NC with my bestie.  Gosh...if we'd have just avoided shots right about here, we would have been FINE.

Pre-SATC 2 premier party

And a silly photo of the movie screen at the first SATC movie.  I can still remember the row of gay guys in front of us and how they clapped when the opening music came on.  What a FABULOUS experience! 

So there you go.  All out of order and probably totally unimportant to the layperson but that's the stuff that makes me smile when all I want to do is cry or feel sorry for myself.  Friendship - it's where it's at.  Just sayin....

You're Really Photogenic aka You're Not That Good Looking in Real Life

Yet another demonstration that 1. my noggin' works in mysterious ways and 2. there are people out there whose noggins (work with me here) are even more messed up. 

So, someone delivered what I thought was a really nice compliment the other day:  "Those pictures from the other night were great.  You are really photogenic!" Awwww, blush blush...."Thanks," I said.  

Jump to the following day during a long stare into an unflattering mirror.  I do my best (and worst) thinking in the bathroom.  And no, you stinky boys, not on the toit-ey....while getting ready.  Neanderthals!  This particular instance of deep thought was definitely leaning toward the "worst" category....cause here is the ridiculous theory that entered my mind:   "I wonder if this person saying I was photogenic means that I'm really not that good looking in real life."  WHAT?!?!  I immediately wanted to unthink it but....too late...there it was.  Poor girl - she didn't even know that when she delivered a heartfelt compliment that it would later be torn apart by my inner insecure fairy.  Hmmm...need a different word.  Fairies seem like they'd be confident all the time, no?  

Anyhoo - there it is folks.  Some stupid shit that only a woman would dare to think.  I mean, there is not a snowball's chance in Arizona that a similar thought has crossed a dude's mind while contemplating a COMPLIMENT....a COMPLIMENT!!!  What is wrong with me/us/women?  

Or is it just me? 

Nope - cause take a gander at exhibit A:  What does photogenic really mean?

and Exhibit B:  You are SO photogenic

Hopefully, those are the least educated discussions on the topic.  I don't even dare quote some of these people.  Just read for yourself and feel utter shame for the human race but know that green really brings out the color in your eyes and you take a really good picture.  :)

"You Oughta Know" where my "Broken Road" leads..."There You Go"

Confused yet? 

A while back, I wrote a post about TV Pick Me Ups.  "Friends" was the one show that could make me laugh when I felt like my little teenage world was turning inside out and upside down.  In that same vein, we all have certain songs (don't lie...you know you do) that hold memories for us (good and bad)...some that got us through hard times and some that just make us snot-swipin' sad.  

I feel like sharing these things is like giving you guys and gals a peek into the junk drawer of my life and you know how I like to over-share so here's my song list of days gone by.  Please share your faves if you have some or, even better, those songs that you love to hate....and don't forget the "why"....that's the best part!!!

As always, judge away....you can't hurt me ;-).  

Forever and Ever Amen - Randy Travis, 1987: Summer at Granny's house on a porch swing with my tape deck. 

You Oughta Know - Alanis don't-piss-me-off-or-I'll-chop-off-your-wee-wee Morisette, 1995: A girl, a boy, another girl - 'nuff said.

Tie: I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl/Do What You Gotta Do - Nina Simone, original recordings vary but in this case, the year in question is circa 1998: Sophomore year in college on a grassy green knoll in Denton, Texas with a certain red headed older boy who fancied himself,well....a bit of an artsy drunk.  There was flavored beer and sunshine - classes were skipped, time was wasted.  Ah but wasted isn't the right word...I have him to thank for the introduction of Nina to my music repertoire and while I don't always think of that grassy knoll or that red headed boy when I hear her voice, I feel like music is better because she existed.  I don't believe it's possible to drive around in an old Cadillac convertible without Nina on the radio ---- it should be illegal.

There You Go - P!nk, 2000 - On the way to some gay dance club in Dallas with a girlfriend (not THAT kind of girlfriend).  Feeling empowered and strong and like I could very possibly stop driveling over this stupid guy I was in love with.  Turned out it was a momentary lapse of sanity -- I stayed with said stupid boy for 5 loooong years.  Still....at least P!nk made me think about dropping him like a bad habit.

26 Cents - The Wilkinsons, released in 1998 but true impact felt in January 2004: A penny for your thoughts, a quarter for the call, and all of your momma's love.  What more do you need in a song to help keep you wrapped in love when you've just set out across the country to start your life....away from all of your family (especially momma)?  There's a lot to this story but, my fair blogstalkers, I'm keeping this one locked up a bit....it's that special.

Broken Road - Rascal Flatts, 2005: Yeah, I know it's overrated as a love song and certainly as a wedding song but guess what?  My way WAS narrow and the road?  Broke as all get out.  But everything, and I mean everything, I endured led me straight to this man that I love and while fate can be a hard thing to believe in, if you knew our story, you'd be hard pressed not to believe in true love.  He's it for me and dammit...I earned it. 

The House That Built Me - Miranda Lambert, 2010: I miss you Granny.

Man...I could go on forever. 

But I want to hear YOUR playlist.  C'mon...gimme somethin....

Why CAN'T we be friends??

I wish I could go into all of the gory details because it would be an easier way to get to the point but the Internet is too damn available to too damn many people who might get their feelers hurt so I'll just say this:  I am sick and tired of having to play nice with bitchy women.  Bitchy might not be the right word.  Maybe it's jealous, insecure, judgmental, passive aggressive, two-faced....or some combination of all of the above.  

Usually before I write about an issue, I will take a gander at what others have published.  I'm fine restating what's already been said in a different way (it's hard to have an original thought in this day and age) but I tend to want to read supporting and counter arguments ... just to out of curiosity.  When I did that for this post, I came across this "gem" (she says, in a drawl that is dripping with sarcasm):  Top Ten Things that Make a Woman Threatening to Other Women.  Fundamentally, the points made are pretty accurate but the suggestions the author makes to help your situation when you're the "offending" woman are just plain ludicrous.  As if you should shelf your high heels, play dumb, be less beautiful, and not spend your own hard earned money....just to get other women to give you the time of day.  Horse shit. 

I will admit that I have been intimidated by another woman's beauty or intelligence in the past but I have ALWAYS recognized that the fault is mine and unless the person is unkind, I will find away to get over my insecurities.  Otherwise, look at all of the relationships I would lose out on.  And ultimately, we are all different and beautiful in our own way so what does it really matter?  But if I have a moment of insecurity, others have LIFETIMES.  Years of practice scowling at the pretty young girl in the office - "well....we all know how SHE climbed the corporate ladder don't we?!"  Or maybe they point out that the intelligent woman is a snob....."listen to that uppity bitch!" 

After enduring decades of judgment on sight - I.am.tired.  I am perfectly willing to accept that there is such a thing as a first impression but I am also aware that WE ARE ADULTS.  We should know by now that there is more to a person than what is on the surface...that if someone speaks her mind or offers an opinion, she's not attempting to threaten your livelihood or overshadow your own voice....she simply has her own voice.  So sluts, smarties, bitches, and babes - let's all just get over ourselves and be friends.  And if we can't be friends, ya think we could just live and let live instead of sabotaging each others' happiness?  Life would be so so so much sweeter that way.